Weeks 110-137: May 12, 2013 – November 23, 2013
Happy Friday everyone! I was looking at the last time I published a blog and it said May 29. Time sure does fly by! Crazy!
T-Minus 4 Months until we come home…Lisa and I are definitely looking forward to spending quality time with everyone in the States again!
Thanks to those who have emailed me recently asking for an update. Seeing Lisa was travelling, last weekend I sat down and finally wrote an update. For those interested, here you go.
I hope everyone has a great holiday season – EMC actually sprung for a live Christmas tree this year in the office so things are looking ‘Christmassy’ here in good old Singapore – outside of the rain from rainy season and the ninety degree weather J.
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1. Taiwan…
I actually made my first trip to Taiwan a couple of months ago on a work trip. Here’s a few of my experiences/observations:
a) Taipei 101:
First, our EMC office is in a pretty cool building – The Taipei 101. At one time, it was the tallest building in the world:
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I think if I had an office with a window here, I wouldn’t get any work done. Check out the views from the office:
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b) Dinner:
So the office was pretty cool…but the chicken testicles and pork kidneys that were on the menu at dinner were not cool at all:
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c) Taxi Driver:
Also not cool - our taxi driver who was more interested in watching the soap opera on the tv in his dashboard than watching the road:
d) Breast Feeding:
Now that got your attention, didn’t it…
This was something that you don’t see every day. Our hotel had a separate room off the lobby for breast feeding – and it was even called out on the hotel directory (second from bottom):
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e) Bathrooms
How could I go to a new country and not have a special callout to the bathrooms. I’m not sure why, but both the bathroom in my hotel room and the bathroom in the office had these signs telling you that you needed to hold the flush button down for 3 seconds. Very odd:
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f) Check out this sign outside of our office ‘Pet Not Allowed.’ Never mind, ‘Pets’…you just can’t bring a ‘Pet’ in. The thing that confuses me (and that I still have a question about) is if you just can’t bring a goat into the office (because that’s what it looks like from the picture), or if all ‘Pet’ is prohibited J
2. Worldwide Toilet Day
In honor of worldwide toilet day on November 19 – I don’t make this stuff up people…check out the website: http://worldtoiletday.org/ - here’s a few more to add to the list of my favorite bathroom ‘situations’ here in good old Asia:
a) Remember the little pictures that are painted on toilet urinals here in Singapore to help people with their ‘aim?’ I’ve mentioned them on a couple of different occasions in this blog describing the toilets here at work in Singapore and also at the airport in Singapore:
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I was recently in our Beijing office and they decided to follow suit there – probably because the amount of pee on the floor from people not ‘aiming’ properly was getting out of control. The only issue with the China method was that they were using stickers. They weren't using industrial type stickers that you might think they would use – oh no – they used stickers like the ones your kid would get on their papers in school for doing good work. Check out the labels on them too – notice they are in English and not in Mandarin:
'HERE GOOD':
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So let’s think about this – water + pee + stickers…does this make a good combination? Needless to say, the stickers were there in the morning when I used the bathroom and later that afternoon, they were sitting in the drain.
A+ China for thinking of ways to have people not pee on the floor…F- for execution.
b) Check out this news of a new toilet in one of the nightclubs here in Singapore – it actually analyzes your alcohol level. This is from an article that was recently published here in ‘Big Think:”
The Pee Analyzer consists of a RFID card, which the customer takes in exchange for his car key. There’s a testing device installed into the club's urinals, which reports his alcohol level both on a screen in front of him and to the card itself. If the customer is too drunk to comprehend the screen's message -- "Maybe you've had one too many to drive; call a cab or use our drive home service" -- he will still need to hand his card back to the valet, who will run it through an RFID reader and repeat the recommendation.
For all the crappy toilets here in Singapore (pun fully intended), this one actually is pretty hi-tech.
The picture comes from the same toilet being advertised in “Digital Trends.” I can’t say I’ve seen it myself yet…but I know that I’m doing next Friday night J
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c) Just your friendly reminder to not squat on toilet bowl seats here in Singapore because you might lose your footing and fall in…
d) If I’m not supposed to put toilet paper into the toilet, then where am I supposed to put it???? I assume in the small garbage pail that’s also in the bathroom stall – totally disgusting. You also to have to love the phone in the bathroom…
d) This sign is located in the bathroom at a Mexican restaurant in Singapore. $10 Singapore dollars to the person who can explain to me why this is above the toilet bowl…
3. Not sure what’s more expensive…buying the Boardwalk property or buying the actual Monopoly game…
I was in the department store the other day looking for a light bulb to replace – let me tell you how hard it is to find light bulb replacements in Singapore…but I digress.
I walked down the toy aisle and casually looked over at a Monopoly game that was on sale. Check out the price of this bad boy - that's right, that's $79.90 SGD or $63 US Dollars! Gotta love the price of things here.
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4. Disgusting
Now I’ve seen some pretty gross stuff here in good old Asia – from the bathrooms to some of the food options, etc. Believe it or not, many of the things I don’t even put in this blog (mostly because I forget about them when I get around to writing J). This one however, I have not been able to forget…and because it’s etched in my mind, I figured I’d share it with all of you for the purposes of discussion.
Granted, gross things happen everywhere in the world – and the good old US has its fair share of moments – but this one takes the ultimate prize for me. Just writing this makes me want to throw up.
Here’s the situation that happened at work last week:
a) Guy from floor below enters elevator (I won’t mention the company he works for, but it’s a very large financial institution with a ‘J’ and a ‘P’ and a ‘Morgan’ in its name)
b) Guy has what appears to be a seed in his hand (it looked to me like it was a seed from an orange)
c) On the entire ride down, guy proceeds to pick at his cuticles and dig under his finger nails with orange seed
d) As we approach the first floor (just before we got out of the elevator), guy proceeds to take the orange seed and to toss it in his mouth and suck on it like it’s a piece of hard candy
e) Matt proceeds to throw up in his mouth
Feel free to discuss this little ‘incident’ over dinner tonight and let me know what your thoughts are.
5. The Dreamliner…
Believe the hype – this plane is pretty cool to fly on. From the big windows that dim with the touch of a button to the larger overheard compartments to the cool lighting on board…this plane is really nice. My favorite part – they have windows in the bathroom!
This is not Dreamliner specific - but I was on the Dreamliner (JAL Airlines) recently going from Beijing to Tokyo. Instead of asking us what we wanted for meals, the flight attendants showed us pictures of the meal options on a cardboard card – my response: ‘I’ll take the mystery meat on the right.’ She wasn’t very amused with me. The picture isn't great (because I didn't want to look too obnoxious snapping a photo), but here's what the cardboard card looked like:
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When it came time for beverage selection, I ordered an Asahi (Japanese beer) and they proceeded to ask me if I wanted it hot or cold. I obviously asked for it cold – but the guy next to me asked for a warm beer and they proceeded to pour warm water into a cup that they poured the beer into – very different.
6. It’s finally happened…
It was just a matter of time…
On a recent trip to Tokyo, we were at a restaurant and instead of giving us traditional menus, they gave us iPads to order from. Pretty cool concept – touch the pictures of the food you want to order from and it arrives at your table. You could even pay on the iPad through their online interface. I give it 5 more years before this becomes the norm at every restaurant.
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7. Another classic Singapore moment…
Gotta love Singapore’s latest public service campaign – could they be anymore inappropriate with their photos?
a) Make sure to ‘Be CareFULL’
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b) Tree ‘Under Nursing’
c) ‘Please don’t litter into the hand dryer – whatever that means…
8. Nice Outfit…
I bet some of you thought golf outfits were odd in the US. Check out these two ladies that were golfing in front of us a few weeks ago. I especially like the pink teddy bear tee holder that the girl on the right is wearing on her belt. Where do you even buy these things????
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9. Uncle Cab Driver
So I’ve been working on this list for awhile which analyzes Singapore’s cab drivers.
Seeing we don’t have a car here in Singapore, we take a lot of cabs. For those that live in a big city, the below experiences may not be news (i.e. not unique to Singapore), but cabs have been a new experience for peeps from the suburbs like Lisa and me over the last three years.
First I have to explain what an ‘Uncle’ is here in Singapore. An Uncle in Singapore is basically a generic term to describe males who are middle aged or older. For example, notice this sign at work that has been ‘conveniently’ hung up to remind the ‘Uncle’ on how to do his job - I love this place:
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When we first moved, here, I thought it was a term that was used as a sign of respect…however, after being here for almost three years, I’m not too sure. I’ve seen the word thrown around in a number of different situations that weren’t too respectful.
Either way, many people refer to taxi drivers here in Singapore as ‘Uncles’….so for the purpose of my 'in depth' analysis of Singapore’s taxi drivers, I will do the same.
Here’s how I classify Singapore’s cab drivers – let me caveat this by saying that my list might make more sense to those here in Singapore:
a) ‘Uncle Jerky’: Your classic Singapore cab driver who does not know how to properly use an accelerator in a car. Accelerate, coast, accelerate, coast, accelerate, coast…makes you feel like you’re on a amusement park ride and also gives you the urge to smack the guy in the back of the head from the backseat.
b) ‘Uncle Politics’: EVERY cab driver LOVES to talk about Singapore politics and how bad the current administration is – regardless of which party is in office. When you get in a cab, it’s like watching CNN around election time in the US.
c) ‘Uncle How Much Do You Pay To Live Here’: They love to ask you how much it costs to live where you do when they drop you off.
d) ‘Uncle I Keep My Coffee in a Bag on the Steering Column of my Cab’: Local coffee in Singapore is often sold in a plastic bag with a straw…and many cab drivers like to hang the bag off of their steering wheel. Every time I see one it reminds me of a urine bag in a hospital.
e) ‘Uncle Stinky’: 1 in 5 cabs smell SO bad here that you would have thought that the guy had either gone to the bathroom right in the front seat or have not showered in the past 10 years. I’ve now taken the upfront approach of asking drivers what the smell is – Lisa doesn’t like when I do this J
f) ‘Uncle Moth Ball’ – In line with the last one, I can’t tell you how many cabs smell like a box of moth balls
g) ‘Uncle I’m 120 Years Old and Shouldn’t Be Walking Nevermind Driving’: Enough Said…
h) ‘Uncle I Like To Drive and Tweezer My Face At The Same Time’: Not only weird, but totally gross to be picking at your face with tweezers while driving – and this hasn’t just happened once or twice…I've seen this in many different situations. I also love the drivers that clip their nails when they are stopped at traffic lights.
i) ‘Uncle Don’t Bother Me While I’m Reading The Newspaper and Driving’: This takes skill people.
j) ‘Uncle I Have Too Many Buckets of Dirty Liquid in My Trunk To Fit Your Suitcase’: I’m not even sure what’s in the buckets, but so many cabs have these in their trunk. I don’t even like to put my bag in the trunk when I see these disgusting buckets of God only knows what.
k) ‘Uncle Hawker’: I love the cab drivers that are constantly spitting and hawking up spit. The other day I had a cab driver hawk something up and spit it out the window on the highway. It didn’t quite make it as far as he wanted and it ended up hitting the back passenger window where I was sitting – so I had to look at it for my entire ride. Yummy.
l) ‘Uncle I’m Better Than The Rest of The Cab Drivers Because I Drive A Mercedes Cab’: Yup – only in Singapore do you find some cabs that are actually Mercedes.
m) ‘Uncle My Credit Card Machine is Broken’: Don’t lie to me dude – I know your machine isn’t broken – you just want my cash.
n) ‘Uncle Not So Good-Lah’: Don’t ask how a cab driver is doing – because most answer with ‘not so good’ and then proceed to refer to talk about politics as I referred to in ‘B’ above.
o) ‘Uncle I Have Too Much Crap on My Dashboard To See Out Through The Windshield’: SO many cab drivers like to litter their dashboards with stuff – some religious symbols and some just a bunch of crap – I don’t get it. I especially like those who have the ‘waving kitties’
p) ‘Uncle I Won’t Drive Because It’s Raining’: Try getting a cab in Singapore when it’s raining. You have a better chance of finding a clean public bathroom here.
q) ‘Uncle I Don’t Know What Those White and Yellow Lines in the Middle of the Road Are’: Similar to ‘Uncle Jerky,’ so many drivers think the lines in the middle of the roads are just ‘suggestions.’
Ok – I’m done venting about cabs here. I like to joke, but the cab situation in Singapore is actually pretty efficient, clean, and convenient compared to other parts of the world…like India.
10. India Commutes
Speaking of India - I don’t ever want to hear anyone complain about rush hour again. On a recent trip to India, I was reminded just how lucky we are. I was on my way back to the hotel from the office when I passed a bus packed with people. I wasn’t able to snap a photo of the exact bus we passed, but here’s a similar picture of one I found on the site ‘lolindia’:
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And if you think the buses are bad, check out the trains:
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Now obviously this doesn’t happen every day and in every city in India, but I honestly can’t imagine having to battle through this - if it looks this bad on the outside, could you imagine how bad it is on the inside?!?! Gotta love India!
Until next time…
I hope everyone is doing well!