MATT'S TOP 10 FROM SINGAPORE
Week 3: April 24, 2011 - April 30, 2011
1. Ciao Mao…Beijing – Take 4
This past week I’ve spent most of my time in Beijing meeting our China Pricing Team and working through some best practices with them.
This trip to Beijing is my fourth trip to China – and the first time that I actually saw some blue sky here! Every other time I’ve been here has been in the middle of July and just like Singapore, it’s been oppressively hot. With hot weather here in Beijing, comes massive smog. Now I’m not talking a little smog like you may see in Los Angeles – I’m talking smog so thick that it’s hard to actually see anything 50 feet in front of you (or for my friends here in Asia, 15 meters – more on the metrics system in a bit). This time there’s still smog, but there’s also patches of blue sky too. Here's a good picture of a previous trip to show just how smoggy it is here - you'll probably recognize the 'Bird Nest' Olympic Stadium and the Swimming Cube from the last summer olympics here.
People look at me like I’m some sort of freak show here in Beijing. Today I got asked what basketball team I play for. Now, I’m not super tall, but here in China, I feel like I tower over the crowds.
Each time I’ve been in Beijing, I’ve stayed at The Renaissance Hotel which is right next door to our office. The hallways here have a funky smell – very similar to burnt rubber. I mentioned this smell on a concall with corporate the other night and the answer I got was: “That’s not the hotel that smells – that’s just the smell of China.”
My favorite picture from Beijing comes from my first trip here two years ago – it’s hard to make out, but this is an actual street vendor outside our hotel selling food on the side of the street – and he’s cooking it with a purple hair dryer. He was actually outside the hotel on this trip too selling food and still cooking it with his purple hair dryer.
This is the ‘nest’ of electrical wires I walk under every morning to get from the hotel to the office. Makes me feel really safe. Welcome to Beijing...
It sounds like I’ll be spending lots of time in Beijing in the future months…so there will be much more to come on this topic.
It sounds like I’ll be spending lots of time in Beijing in the future months…so there will be much more to come on this topic.
The good part of coming to Beijing is that I got to fly Singapore Air – or SIQ as it’s more commonly known here. The 5.5 hour plane ride from Singapore to Beijing was nothing less than pure bliss. SIQ has been ranked the number one airline in the world for the millionth year straight…and I can totally understand why. What other airline do you fly coach in and get hot towels when you sit down, a menu to choose your meal from, a foot rest in your seat, a large tv on the back of the seat in front of you with hundreds of movies to choose from, internet and power access at your seat, and my personal favorite – ice cream! That’s right, they serve you ice cream for dessert. You don’t even get that type of service on some airlines when you fly business class. I’m going to ask EMC if I can move my office out of the dungeon in Singapore to a mobile office and just let me fly around Asia on Singapore Air.
Ok…back to life in Singapore…
2. Saying “peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers” ten times really fast is quite hard BUT repeating Singapore traffic reports are harder…
This is what was reported on the radio this morning during the traffic update (verbatim):
“Roadworks on BKE near Yew Tee Flyover through the ERP towards KJE and PIE at PIE(City). Avoid lane 1.”
Good thing we don’t have a car here – I can’t even imagine trying to figure out how to drive on the left side of the road all the time, never mind worrying about staying away from whatever the BKE is…
3. IKEA S - U - C - K - S…
What does spending 5.5 hours of your Monday night get you at IKEA? A heck of a lot of furniture, one massive headache, and the feeling that you’ve been personally violated.
I can’t stand this store. Whereas it is a great alternative for cheap furniture, it is ALWAYS packed in Singapore. There’s two stores here – the one closer to my apartment is actually the smaller of the two, but just as painful to visit as the larger one. I think people here almost view it as a Disney World of sorts – kids flying around everywhere, long lines, and obnoxious people. Actually, maybe it’s not so much the store that I don’t like, but it’s the people at the store (kind of like my view of grocery stores in the States) - constantly pushing, constantly cutting you off, and constantly getting in your personal space…
But I will say this - they have meatballs…$4.50 on Tuesday nights for a plate of 10 meatballs, potatoes, and a soda. What a great deal! Now what the meatballs are actually made from is another question.
They also have these cool escalator systems. They’re more like moving ramps then escalators – the cool part about them is as soon as you push your carriage onto them, the magnets under the ramp lock your carriage in placed so it can’t move. The Swedish really have it figured out – even here in Singapore!
I’m happy to report that I’ve bought the majority of the furniture for our new place – hopefully it gets Lisa’s stamp of approval when she gets here. I’ll post some pictures of the new apartment once Lisa gets here with our camera. The old blackberry camera just isn’t cutting it. The only thing left to purchase is a futon/day bed for the guest room, a end table for the living room, and some chairs for the balcony.
For those of you not familiar with the IKEA business model, it can be summed up in 3 easy steps:
1. Pick out the furniture you want
2. Get pushed from behind by some pushy person in the store looking to also purchase something.
3. Go downstairs to their warehouse and physically load your carts up with all the furniture – to be built by you when you get home.
4. Get pushed from behind by some pushy person in the store also loading up their cart.
5. Check out and go wait in line to set up delivery for your 6 carts of goods.
6. Get pushed from behind by some pushy person in the store also looking to set up delivery.
7. Get in a cab exhausted, sweaty, and fully violated for the 30 minute ride home.
Let me tell you this though. For the IKEA people to build the furniture for you upon delivery, there’s a charge. The $350 it cost me was the best $350 I spent since moving here. The 3 movers built two full closets, a couch, a love seat, a full entertainment center, a kitchen table, 6 chairs, a bed with storage drawers underneath, and two dressers in 3.5 hours. If I had to build this myself, I still think I’d be working on it two years from now when it’s time for me to come home (my Dad would be so proud) – and second of all I wasn’t smart enough to ship my tools over here…really smart Matt.
4. Where’s my seventh grade math teacher’s lesson on the metrics system when you need it…
This has been one of the hardest parts of the move for me – distances in meters, kilometers, and centimeters / temperature in Celsius / weight in kilograms, etc.
Try measuring your whole apartment in inches and feet for new furniture and then having to convert it on the fly in the middle of IKEA (with thousands of people pushing and shoving you) to centimeters and meters. Not fun.
And what the hell is up with this 24 hour clock system – I want my alarm clock back with the 12 hour system so I’m going to bed at night at 11:00 PM and not 23:00. As Lisa is well aware, I don’t like my alarm clock at home (for a number of different reasons)…but I can honestly say that I really miss it right now.
5. This week in the life of Eva…
For those that are new, Eva is the person who cleans my temporary service apartment every morning.
I got an Easter hug from Eva this past weekend – kind of weird, but also kind of nice when you're so far away from home around the holidays J. We have definitely gotten closer over the past three weeks. I’m almost now at the same level with her as I was with Poo from The Ministry of Manpower.
Here’s my favorite note she left me at the beginning of this week:
“Hello Mr. Mainstruck. I folded the laundry that you left in the dryer. Just wanted to let you know that one pair of your shorts has a hole in them.”
Matt’s response – Thanks Eva. By shorts, I assume you’re referring to my boxer shorts because that’s all that I had in the dryer…First of all, whereas I really appreciate you taking the time to fold my laundry, I can fold my own boxer shorts.…and yes, I know that one pair of my boxer shorts has a big old hole in them. I refuse to get rid of them because they’re my favorite pair. I wish Lisa was here so you can have a discussion with her on the topic – you both have very similar viewpoints on what I should do with these boxers. I think the two of you would get along very well…
Two side notes:
1. Not too sure what was more disturbing…the fact that she was actually folding my boxer shorts for me, or the fact that she was also inspecting them….
2. I know – way too much info on this topic – but I just couldn’t help including this note because I’ve been laughing about it all week…
6. It costs me $6 for a little piece of sanity each morning…
The Starbucks I get on the way to work every morning costs $6. The 6” Subway sub I get at lunch only costs $4.90. Starbucks quest for world domination continues…
Speaking of coffee, I was coming down the escalator this week with my iced coffee and it slipped out of my hand and spilled all over the escalator (I’d like to blame it on the damn humidity here causing condensation on the cup causing it to slip, but I’m really just a klutz). Luckily no one was around to see my embarrassment because it was 7:30 in the morning and no one even thinks about getting to work here until 9 or 9:30. After my drop, I ended up “sucking it up” and going to a local coffee shop to get my morning dose of caffeine instead. Here they assured that it wouldn’t slip out of my hand. It all comes down to the “coffee thong.” I can’t take credit for this term – Chris (from my blog last week has trademarked the term) – but it is a great description. I thought it was kind of odd to see people carrying their beverages around in bags/thongs at first, but I’ve now come to appreciate what a great invention it is to prevent the drinks from slipping out of your hands. See below for a picture.
7. The food situation gets odder…
I’m one that will try pretty much anything once when it comes to food to see if I like it. I’ve gone as far in the past to try things as odd as kangaroo, emu, alligator, and even zebra meat in Germany. However, this I will NOT try. Can anyone please help explain to me what it is? I’ve now seen it at multiple restaurants around Singapore next to the tanks of live lobsters and crabs…
Anyone…anyone???????
I would also pay money for the smell of burnt popcorn that used to come out of the break rooms at our office in Hopkinton. Why you may be asking – because it would be a hell of a lot better than the smells coming out of the break rooms here. Late last week I walked into our break room (which is located outside my office in the dungeon) and this gut wrenching smell hit me like a brick wall. When I asked the guy what he was heating up in the microwave his response was fish head soup. I’m not sure what part of the world or culture that this recipe is indigenous too…but what I do know is that it is the worst smelling thing that I have ever smelled – besides the bathroom here at the office.
8. Singapore has Bieber fever…
When I first moved to Massachusetts from Connecticut, I was relieved to actually get away from “Bob’s Discount Furniture” commercials on tv (for those of you in CT/MA you know exactly what I’m talking about and how freakin’ annoying that guy is). Unfortunately, soon after I got to Massachusetts, he expanded his stores to MA – I felt almost like he was following me…
I feel the same way about Justin Bieber. I was so happy to get away from hearing him all the time on the radio and seeing him on tv when I came to Singapore. But guess who had a concert here this week – and guess whose screaming teenage girl fans made me late for dinner the other night because I couldn’t get a cab. Just shoot me…
9. Matt’s pick for “Bar of the Week” – Three Monkeys
Last weekend, a couple colleagues were kind enough to bring me out on Saturday night – lots of drinks and lots of good laughs. Where else but in Singapore do you end up at a bar called Three Monkeys watching a stand-up comedy show being performed by a drag queen (see picture below). Come to find out, drag queen comedians in Singapore like to make fun of Americans – and I was lucky enough to be the only American at the show – “good” times. My favorite line of the night didn’t come from the comedian, but from one of the guys I was with – “I may be sweaty, but I’m smooth.” Kind of a running theme here in this hot, humid country…
10. Orange triangles on the back of cars are everywhere…
What a brilliant idea Singapore has come up with. All drivers who have been driving for less than a year (regardless of their age) have to drive around with a sticker with an orange triangle on the back of their cars for a specified period of time – not too sure how long that is but I notice them all over. I inquired about getting some to take back to the States with me whereas I know of a few people’s cars I’d like to put them on the back of…any guesses Lisa???? J
On another plus note, it’s election season here in Singapore. According to Charles (our real estate agent) that means that the police are not giving out speeding tickets. Supposedly the current governing party doesn’t want to piss off any of the residents in order for them to have a better chance of being re-elected. Along with the orange triangles, I think this would be a great practice in the States. It would be sort of a payback to the people for having to endure 3 months of endless political commercials on tv leading up to elections…
Until next week...Hope everyone is doing well!
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P.S. - With our move to Singapore, we’re in the process of selling Lisa’s townhouse in Bellingham. If you know anyone who may be interested, please refer them to the below link.
Thanks!
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P.S. - With our move to Singapore, we’re in the process of selling Lisa’s townhouse in Bellingham. If you know anyone who may be interested, please refer them to the below link.
Thanks!
