WEEKS 13-21

MATT'S TOP 10 FROM SINGAPORE

Weeks 13-21: June 12, 2011 – August 13, 2011

1.  My obsession continues…

Now...even I am getting tired of blogging about the bathroom situation here – so I can’t imagine how tired you are from reading about it….but this material is too good not to share.

As you all know from past posts, the bathrooms here at work (and in every other part of Singapore) are some of the grossest I’ve seen anywhere.  I’m so tired of the floors being covered in pee and of the smell that comes out of these things.  It’s gotten so bad at work that they actually put up signs showing people how to properly use the toilets.  Here’s two pictures of the signs now up in the men’s room at work (that’s right, they have to show people how to properly ‘aim’ – and it’s not just for the guys:

(Click on the picture to enlarge)

(Click on the picture to enlarge)

Also, believe it or not, they do clean the bathrooms here.  On the back of the door (similar to the US), there’s a chart showing the time it was last cleaned, who cleaned it, and any additional comments.  Click on the picture below and check out the two comments from last week – 'smelly and yellow stain.'  Yeah, that's right folks - welcome to EMC Singapore…

(Click on the picture to enlarge)

Here’s another favorite of mine that was hanging in a restaurant we were recently in.  This one gave me a good laugh – so much so that a friend actually “borrowed” the sign for me.  I’m going to hang it up in our bathroom at home when we get back to The States.

(Click on the picture to enlarge)

 

I guess I don't know what's more disturbing - the fact that the bathrooms are so gross here...the fact that they put up signs showing people how to aim...or the fact that I'm inclined to bring my Blackberry phone/camera with me every time I go to the bathroom because I never know what type of good material I'm going to find.

2.  Random Singapore Fact of the “Week”: Don’t drink the water…

Actually, I'm told that the drinking water in Singapore is some of the cleanest in the world.  Because the island is so small and they lack enough clean water reservoirs to support the number of people here, Singapore buys a bunch of water from Malaysia – below is the where they get their water from.

a) Rainfall, collected in reservoirs or water catchment areas (about 20% of supply in 2010),

b) Imported water from Malaysia (about 40% of supply),

c) Reclaimed water (producing NEWater) (30% of supply), and

d) Seawater desalination (10% of supply).

Now some of you may be asking what reclaimed water is?  Essentially, it’s distilled sewage water.  Pretty gross, huh?  More specifically, it is treated wastewater (sewage) that has been purified using dual-membrane (via microfiltration and reverse osmosis) and ultraviolet technologies, in addition to conventional water treatment processes.  I don’t care how many dual membranes they use, I stick to the bottled water myself – which probably ends up coming from the same source!

The only water to really stay away from is soup – what’s up with the Asian culture serving you a bowl of dirty looking water and calling it soup?  Lisa wonders why she gets sick every time she eats the stuff.  She doesn’t believe me when I say that they just go to the toilet ‘hole,’ heat that water up, and put it in a bowl. 

3.  For those who still don’t believe me…yes, the cost of booze is really high in Singapore…

Here’s a recent receipt for an after work drinking splurge for three of us (believe me, this level of consumption doesn’t happen every Friday)…but look at the freakin’ costs of the alcohol.  $25 for a shot of Patron.  $27 for a goose and soda…give me a break.

(Click on the picture to enlarge)

Lisa and I were talking the other day about how we feel like we’re just hemorrhaging money living here.  Now granted, we don’t always go out of our way to do things on ‘the cheap’ (there’s only so much local hawker food that you can eat), but it’s pretty ridiculous the amount of money we’re spending on food each week.  Cost of living allowances come NO WHERE close to helping cover the living expenses in Singapore.  In fact, I’d like to know where our relocation company is getting their estimates from.  They must be comparing the prices of drinking dirty soup water here to eating fillet mignon at home.   Look at the price of this normal size watermelon that they were selling in the supermarket.  Click on the picture to enlarge the price tag – that’s right, it says $70.

4.  Speaking of expensive…

You wouldn’t believe the costs of cars here in Singapore.  From the Singapore ex-pat site:

“Be warned: it is very expensive to own and drive a car in Singapore. Wary of the fact that uncontrolled growth in the number of vehicles will result in traffic jams in land and road scarce Singapore, the government has implemented a range of measures to manage car ownership and usage. These include the Certificate of Entitlement (COE), Vehicle Quota System (VQS), road taxes and Electronic Road Pricing (ERP). All motor vehicles must be registered with the Land Transport Authority (LTA).”

Let’s put it this way - To buy a Honda Civic here in Singapore will cost over $100,000.  Want a ‘low-end’ C Class Mercedes?  Be prepared to pay well over $200K.  Our daily bus and subway rides to work are starting to make more and more sense!

5.  Hey idiot…stop texting and look up…

If you thought Blackberry, iPhone, Android, etc  use was bad in the US, you should see it here.  I must get walked into a minimum of five times a day because people are too busy looking down and their devices on the subway than looking at where they are going. Granted, I’m guilty of doing this myself – but the difference between me and the entire culture here (pretty broad statement comparing myself to an entire culture, huh J) is that I don’t walk into people as I’m typing.  Maybe it’s because I have a slight height advantage and get a better view over the crowd…but it’s starting to get ridiculous.  On my way home from work the other day, an elderly woman bumped into me as she was walking off the train (she must have been 70+ years old).  I looked down at what she was doing and believe it or not, she was playing Angry Birds!

6.  Corruption is alive and well in Malaysia…

Two weeks ago , a friend drove us to Malaysia to play some Sunday golf.  Pretty good deal – 18 holes, golf, and lunch for $50.  That compared to the $250 it would cost to play a similar course in Singapore.  The ride to the border in Malaysia is only about 20 minutes.  Coming back is another story with the amount of traffic coming into Singapore – took us over 1.5 hours of sitting in traffic, just to get across the border.

To add insult to injury, we got pulled over by the corrupt Malaysian police for going 10 km/h over the speed limit while getting of an exit ramp from the ‘freeway.’  They guy claimed to ‘estimate our speed’ and then bargained with us to get out of the ticket.  After some back and forth, he ended up taking $50 SGD from us to let us go – which he promptly pocketed…ahhh, the corruption of the Malaysian police.  I guess it’s still better than getting flogged in Singapore…

 

7.  Singapore National Day

This past week here was National Day in Singapore.  Essentially it’s the same as the US Fourth of July.  The only difference is that the Singaporean’s drop a boat load of cash to celebrate and ‘show off’ their nation.  They have this thing called the National Day Parade which they start rehearsing for months in advance.  Complete with helicopter and jet flyovers, tanks, skydivers jumping from the sky, and a fireworks display that would put many in the US to shame, it’s quite the production.  Here’s the view of the fireworks from our building – pretty good view!

8.  Back to India…

I had the honor of going back to India again a few weeks back.  This time we went to Delhi.  Two quick things from this trip – first the Ambassador taxi ride from the airport.  I honestly was scared for my life – and I’m not just saying this.  Not only did the inside of the cab smell like raw sewage (so bad my work colleague had to say something to the driver – and it didn’t have air conditioning – so you can imagine how bad it was in the 90+ degree weather), but this guy was the WORST driver ever.  He could not keep the car in a straight line and he cut a number of people off – in one situation, he ran a motorcycle off the road.  This my friends is exactly what you do not want to be experiencing at 2:30AM on your way to the hotel.  Here's a picture of what the Ambassador cabs look like in India...

The other interesting thing I heard is in regards to marriage in India.  As I knew, many marriages are arranged marriages.  One of our colleagues in our India office had just gotten married, and someone asked him if it was arranged.  He responded by saying no and that instead it was a ‘love marriage.’  The term ‘love marriage’ gave me a good laugh.

Also, they have commercials on HBO in India…weird, huh?

9.  Singapore Bar of the “Week”

Now this is where I would normally add one of my favorite bars of the week.  For this edition, I’m going to do something a little different.  I’m going to give honorable mention to the bar at 'Morton’s Steakhouse.’  Similar to the US Morton's, they have a happy hour every day from 5-7.  During happy hour they serve these unbelievably good complementary steak sandwiches..you pay for them in the prices of the drinks, but they are damn good.

Now for the different part – we walked by this place leaving a bar the other night, so I thought I’d put it in this section - “Buff and Rubz.” I’m trying to convince Lisa to get her next manicure here, but she’s not buying into the idea…

10. McDelivery

How cool is this?  I’ve heard about this in major cities like New York back home, but to see it in person is a whole other thing.  Not only does McDonald's deliver here, but they have these cool rocket looking back packs that they use to keep the food warm.  Lisa is in awe when it comes to these guys.  She even got her picture taken with a McDelivery guy the other day.  I’m also told that Kentucky Fried Chicken delivers too…haven’t seen them out and about yet though…

Domino's does deliver just like in the US – the only problem is that they $20+ for a personal 9” size pizza…and it tastes just as gross here as it does in the US.

Until next time...hope everyone is doing well!

WEEKS 8-12

MATT'S TOP 10 FROM SINGAPORE

Weeks 8-12: May 29, 2011 – June 11, 2011

1. As an ex-pat in Asia, you’re always ‘On’…

One of the downsides of being in Asia, is that you feel like you’re ‘always on.’  Because of the 12 hour time difference with the US, there never seems to be any down time.  When you get home from work at night, the emails from work in the US start flowing in.  I also seem to have con calls most nights until 10 to join meetings back home.  This all after working “Asia” hours all day.  Now don’t get me wrong – I’m not complaining – I’m the one who signed up for this.  It’s just different to never feel like you can shut down.

I especially love the calls I get at 3AM from places like Empire Carpet asking me how I enjoyed their services of the carpet they just installed in Lisa’s condo in Bellingham.  Let’s put it this way Empire Carpet – this is the fourth time you’ve called me in the middle of the night….and the fourth time I’ve asked you to change my number and not to call.  Do you really want to be asking me about my experience with you at 3AM – I’d be happy to provide you with some colorful anecdotes, but I’m sure you’re then going to have to treat my responses as ‘outliers’ in your sample set of data.  (As an aside – don’t EVER use these buffoons for your carpeting needs).

My ‘favorite’ is the difference in our holiday schedules. July 4^th and  Memorial Day weekends are sonm of my favorite weekends of the year back home – so it’s kind of sucky (is that even a word?) to miss them this year.  Even suckier were the emails I was getting on Memorial Day while sitting at work on Monday morning from friends and co-workers as they were enjoying their Memorial Day weekend Sunday night…by the way – you’re all a bunch of lushes.  As a small example of things of pictures that were being sent, see below.  I was tempted to put the full picture in, but decided to ‘alter the photo’ to protect his identity on the good old world wide web J

2. India…check.

So I’ve finally made my first trip to India.  Unfortunately, I can’t say India is one of my favorite places in the world to visit.  In fact, I probably would put it right up there with visits to Beijing, Cleveland, and a visit to the doctor to get a enema.   (Sorry Manasvi – I gave it a good try – I really did).  Now I’m sure that there are very beautiful parts of India…unfortunately I was not in any of these places during my visit to Bangalore.  Most of the stereotypes that I was warned about ahead of time, are absolutely true – tons of traffic, cows just wandering down the middle of major roads/highways, malnourished dogs everywhere, scary elevators, heavy hotel security, interesting food, and not a pleasant smell.

Let’s take a few of these one at a time:

a) Traffic:

What an absolute nightmare.  The only place worse in the world that I’ve ever been to which is comparable with traffic is Sao Paulo, Brazil.  Bangalore is a place which has a major infrastructure problem.  So many companies have moved into the area so quickly in order to take advantage of the less expensive labor, that the infrastructure has not had enough time to catch up.  Things like roads, public transportation, and basic public services have a long way to still come.

What should have taken 20 minutes to get to the airport from the hotel, took us a little over two hours.  Our driver which we had for the entire time we were there drove like an absolute maniac.  They have road signs and lines in the roads to direct traffic, but drivers take these as more of a ‘recommendation’ then an actual law.  There is no sense to the way people drive.  Here’s a picture of what it was like every morning going to the office – a total free for all. 

And check out the "cabs."

It’s also a very ‘horny’ culture – meaning they can’t stay off their horns.  ‘Oh look, I’m going to pass you’ – let’s beep the horn.  ‘Oh look, you’re driving too slow’ – let’s beep the horn.  ‘Oh look, you’re driving too fast’ – let’s beep the horn.  ‘Oh look – there’s a cow in the middle of the road’ – let’s beep the horn.  ‘Oh look, you’re driving a green car’ – let’s beep the horn.  On our last night there I was out to dinner with some colleagues and had to take a 15 minute ride back to the hotel.  I decided to do an experiment and count the number of times my drive beeped the horn.  An guesses?  15 minute drive – 48 separate times he used his horn.

Motorcycles and scooters are everywhere.  Thousands and thousands of them.  How do you like this one (and these situations are everywhere – unfortunately, this was the best picture I was able to get) – dude is driving his motorcycle (with a helmet on) while his wife and baby are on the back without helmets.  I also saw a guy driving down the road on a motorcycle with a laundry basket latched onto the front with a baby in it.  He too had a helmet on, but none on the baby.  Now I understand not everyone has the means to buy a car – but to put your child at risk and have it be accepted as a ‘norm’ was kind of an eye opening experience for me.

On a lighter note, I found out that you can rent cars in India just like anywhere else – except in Bangalore, your rental car comes with a driver.  Go up to the Hertz counter to rent a car and not only do you get your car, but you also get some crazed lunatic driver to haul your arse around.  Probably not a bad thing to have a local driving you around given the traffic situation.

b) Because the cow is considered sacred in Hinduism, they pretty much have a ‘free reign’ in India.  Kind of odd to be traveling down a busy highway 90 km/h and have to swerve around a cow that’s just lying in the street.  Or to have to walk around them on the sidewalk because they refuse to move.  They know they're in no danger of being threatened by people and they take full advantage of it!

c) Hotel Security:  Kind of odd when you arrive at your hotel that you have to have your bags go through x-rays and also have to walk through a metal detector.  I guess it’s better safe than sorry…

Same thing with the mall.  We had dinner at a mall one night and needed to go through a metal detector before entering…that is except for those that decide to just walk right around the security and didn’t even get stopped or questioned…when I tried to do that I got yelled and cursed at….talk about being on the opposite side of racial profiling!  It probably also didn’t help that I asked the mall security guard to put out his cigarette before running the metal detector wand around me – he didn’t like that request too much…

d) I can’t begin to tell you how unsafe I felt in the elevators at our EMC office in Bangalore – not our Center of Excellence campus, but our down town sales office.  Out of the 4 elevators, only 2 worked (according to co-workers, this was always the case).  Picture a large crowd shoving themselves into a small little elevator.  The elevator actually loudly beeped when too many people got in (or if it was overweight).  This happened on every floor on the way up to our 12^th floor office because so many people tried to jam themselves into the elevator.  As soon as it would beep to signal it was overweight, the last person in would step out.  Can you imagine the stress on those elevator cables every day?  I started taking the stairs on the second day (walking up 12 floors) because I couldn’t take the crowds or the smell inside the elevators…

e) Food actually was not too bad.  It probably helps that I like spicy things…Funniest food situation was our first day there.  We decided to have a working lunch and they ordered in.  They asked if we had a preference of food, and when we said no, they asked if we were ok with what I thought they were calling ‘Dough No’s.’  Having no idea what they meant, and not wanting to be rude and question it, I said I’d be ok with it.  Come to find out what they were saying was ‘Dominos.’  I was pretty happy when a bunch of pizzas showed up to the conference room J

f) I’m not even going to broach the subject of the smell…

And guess where I get to go next week – back to India – this time to New Delhi.  Not only do I have to leave on Sunday afternoon, but I get to spend the 4^th of July there…kind of ironic, don’t you think…

As I said, I’m sure that there are very nice parts of India, but I don’t think that it’s my personal cup of tea…

3. Houston – we have a problem…

Scariest plane moment of my life – I was heading to Beijing last Monday and got caught in the middle of a lightning storm.   Sitting in the window seat, and watching the lightning strikes all around was quite the eye opening experience.  Throw the extreme turbulence that we were encountering on top of it, and it made for a pretty scary ride.  I was near the back of the plane sitting behind a school group from Singapore that was heading to Beijing as for a school trip that was part of their summer recess.  The poor girl sitting in front of me was so scared that she ended up throwing up all over the seat in front of her (I was so happy I was sitting behind her).  Let me tell you how awful the smell of apple juice is after it gets thrown up.

The storm didn’t last more than 10 minutes and the girl ended up being ok – made me think twice about how much we fly though…

Speaking of flying, I finally found something that I don’t like about Singapore Air (in fact all international airlines)…double announcements.  How annoying is it when you’re sitting there watching a good movie and they come over the intercom and interrupt it with an announcement – then add on top of that a second announcement followed 10 seconds later in a different language. 

4. Moving on up…floors that is…

I’m finally out of my dungeon office at work as I described in my blog during week 1.  They moved me a couple of weeks ago from the 4^th floor to the 31^st floor in our office.  Smaller office, but pretty sweet views!  I do miss my office company back in Hopkinton though – (Dave - have they given you another office mate yet?)

5. Where can I go to just get a GOOD burger….

Lisa and I went out with some co workers the other night and experienced authentic Chinese Steamboat (also known as hot pot in China or Shabu Shabu in Japan) .  Essentially it’s just a fancy name for fondue.  The meal consists of a simmering metal pot of stock at the center of the dining table which you put raw meat and vegetables in to cook.  Pretty decent food – but I still can’t get over the shrimp (or prawns as they’re referred to here)…full heads and everything – they kind of freak me out…

And for the record – Chinese food here is NOT the same Chinese food you get in the US.  As a friend once said here - he’d give anything for some American Chinese food J

6. I almost cried when I heard Dunkin’ Donuts mentioned in a con call…

I was on a con call last week and it was 7PM Singapore time.  The person I was talking to in the US was driving into work at 7AM.  He proceeded to go through the drive-through at Dunkin’ Donuts and order a bagel breakfast sandwich and a iced coffee.  I wanted to jump through the phone.  I would kill for a Dunkin’ Donuts iced coffee right about now…this Singapore stuff just isn’t cutting it…

Now that being said, Dunkin Donuts does exist here in Singapore.  Lisa actually made a trip out on a Saturday morning to just go find it – unfortunately it’s not even close to being the same.  Especially when you order an ice coffee and they just pour hot coffee over ice…

7. It’s only taken me two months…

I finally took some pictures of out apartment – sorry Mom – I know I told you I’d post some pictures a while ago.  The place is actually pretty nice.  It’s small (about 1,000 square feet in which they include the balconies in their measurements) but it’s a good size for the two of us.  It has two bedrooms (although Lisa’s closet at home is bigger than our second bedroom here) and two full bathrooms.  The kitchen, dining room, and living room are an open room concept.  The think I like the best are our views.  We overlook the shipping lanes here in Singapore and also if you’re standing on our balcony and look left, you can see the Marina Bay Sands hotel (that’s that hotel with the big boat and cool pool on top of it).  Below are the pic...

Coming in from the door…

Living Room...

View from Living Room back to kitchen and door... 

Master Bedroom...

Bedroom #2 (currently the 'luggage room')...

Lisa's Bathroom...

Views From Our Balcony...

8.  Singapore Fact of the Week

This one is for you Gram – comment I got on the phone the other day: “Where is Singapore anyway?”

Singapore lies a little north of the equator at the southernmost tip of Malaysia.  It’s the second smallest country in Asia.  Let’s put it this way, New York City (approx 305 sq miles) is considerably larger than the entire country of Singapore (225 sq miles).

These pictures are courtesy of ‘Maps of The World:’

As far as planes ride times are concerned:

Singapore-Boston: ~22 Hours

Singapore-Sydney: ~7 Hours

Singapore-Beijing: ~5.5 Hours

For a description of the geography, land, Wikipedia says the following:

Singapore consists of 63 islands, including the main island, widely known as Singapore Island but also as Pulau Ujong.  There are two man-made connections to Johor, Malaysia: the Johor–Singapore Causeway in the north, and the Tuas Second Link in the west. Jurong Island, Pulau Tekong, Pulau Ubin and Sentosa are the largest of Singapore's smaller islands. The highest natural point is Bukit Timah Hill at 166 m (545 ft).

There are ongoing land reclamation projects, which have increased its land area from 581.5 km2 (224.5 sq mi) in the 1960s to 704 km2 (272 sq mi) today; it may grow by another 100 km2 (40 sq mi) by 2030.  Some projects involve merging smaller islands through land reclamation to form larger, more functional islands, as with Jurong Island.  About 23% of Singapore's land area consists of forest and nature reserves.  Urbanization has eliminated most primary rainforest, with Bukit Timah Nature Reserve the only significant remaining forest.

9. Good morning to you…

Here’s a good one for you.  As mentioned in the past, I used have about a 35 minute and 42 second commute to work every morning.  (Since Lisa has gotten here, we end up switching subways in order to get closer to work….but that’s a topic for another day).

Anyway it’s a 15 minute walk from our apartment (in an underground mall) to the subway station – a 42 second subway ride – and then another 20 minute walk in an underground mall.  “As the crow flies” I can walk to work in 25 minutes…any guesses why I don’t do it???  That’s right – the heat. 

What I’m beginning to realize is that whereas it is a bit cooler in these underground malls, it’s not that much better.  Come to find out, they really don’t put the AC on the “appropriate” temperature until around 8:30 or 9:00 – long after my 7:00 walks to work.  Either way, it is still a little cooler than being outside.  Here’s the kicker though – the smell.  Early in the morning is when the restaurants in these malls are prepping their food for the days.  Now, I like most people, like some occasional garlic every now and then.  However, this smell is literally so bad that it causes you think about every breath you’re taking and whether you really want to do it or not.  It’s not like the nice smelling garlic that you may be thinking of when you’ve just roasted some in the oven or cracked a piece to put in pan on the stove.  No – this ‘garlic smell’ is like a mix between swamp water and rotting garbage.  Add it on top of the stifling humidity and you have what I get to enjoy EVERY day on the way to work at 7:00 in the morning (before food and coffee).  I signed up for this why????  Gotta love life in Asia!

10. Speaking of smells…

Oh man – I’ve heard about it…I’ve been warned…but all the warnings in the world couldn’t have prepared me for the ‘experience’ of it.  The dreaded durian.  Let’s go to my good friends at Wikipedia for a definition of what a durian is:

“Widely known and revered in southeast Asia as the ‘king of fruits’, the durian is distinctive for its large size, unique odor, and formidable thorn-covered husk. The edible flesh emits a distinctive odor, strong and penetrating even when the husk is intact. Some people regard the durian as fragrant; others find the aroma overpowering and offensive. The smell evokes reactions from deep appreciation to intense disgust, and has been described variously as almonds, rotten onions, turpentine and gym socks. The odor has led to the fruit's banishment from certain hotels and public transportation in southeast Asia.

Here’s a little homework assignment for all of you.  I want you all to go outside and run 5 miles.  Afterwards, take off your socks and put them in the bottom of your garbage can and let them sit overnight.  When you get up in the morning, take them out and that’s pretty much the equivalent of the smell of this ‘fruit.’  Funny enough, most hotels ban them from their restaurants/premises, and there’s even signs on the subway

banning the fruit.  Below is the subway sign that’s right outside the train we take each day…

My one and ONLY experience with it this week was one I will never forget.  King of fruits my arse.  More like the King of the Stink…

For those that have been reading these little blogs of mine, we know have the smell ‘quinfecta’ – Bathrooms at work, Garlic in the malls in the morning, India, Beijing, and the durian.  Can’t wait to see what’s next to add to my library of smells...

Until next time, I hope everone is doing well...

Happy 4th from the other side of the world!!!

WEEKS 6 & 7

MATT'S TOP 10 FROM SINGAPORE

Weeks 6 & 7: May 15, 2011 - May 28, 2011

1. SHE’S FINALLY HERE!!

6 weeks later, Lisa finally is here in Singapore!  The poor girl got in on Friday night/Saturday morning at 1AM after tons of flight delays.  And to top it all off, she’s sicker than a dog.  I’m typing this at 1PM on a Saturday and she’s still in bed.  Hopefully she gets better and acclimates soon…it is really good to finally have her here!

2. I miss my car…

Speaking of Lisa getting here, trying to get a cab to the airport at 12:30AM on a Friday night/Saturday morning (to pick her up) is next to impossible.  It’s worse than trying to get a cab in Boston at night when all the bars are closing.

None of the numbers you can call to reserve a cab or iPhone/Blackberry apps that you can do the same thing with work at this time – far too busy.  You just keep getting messages saying that all cabs are occupied.  I think part of it has to do with most cabs going to the casino near us to pick up passengers (the lines tend to be over an hour long for cabs on Friday and Saturday nights at the casino).

Either way, it’s only been  a month and I’m tired of taxis, subways, and buses.,  It’s amazing how much I took for granted back in the States with having a car to go wherever we wanted.

3. Happy Birthday to me...

My manager was in town last week, and it just so happened to be my birthday.  To celebrate, we went to dinner, did a 9PM con call with the States (because that’s what you do here in Singapore), and then went to the casino with another co-worker.  The casino is actually a 5 minute walk from our apartment.  I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing.  I’m not a huge gambler, but I do like the occasional Blackjack or Roulette game - especially when I’m winning…and winning is a exactly what we did on this particular trip.  After starting out with a birthday shot of some Kahlua/Bailey’s based shot at the casino bar (which cost $60 some odd dollars), we headed over to the casino and took them for a little over $1,500 playing roulette.  Mixed into our 4 hour trip, I think we put down 7 or 8 beers each which then led to the worst decision of the night – heading back to the hotel my manager was staying in for “one last” birthday drink at 2AM.  Let’s put it this way, the 10AM meeting we had the next morning which then led to the red eye we had to get on to Australia that night, were not at all pretty.  But we did take some cash home (which we then proceeded to give back to our Aussie friends in their casino)

4. Up, Up, and Away…

Speaking of our red eye to Sydney….we did get to fly on Singapore Airlines A380 planes.  These are the big boy panes.  Two full levels of seating, internet and power connections in every seat (including our toilet class seats), and the coolest part – Suites.  Singapore Airlines has something known as “Suite Service:” (Just to be VERY clear, we did NOT fly in the Suites.)

“The product is designed by French luxury yacht interior designer Jean-Jacques Coste and consists of separate compartments with walls and doors. The leather seat, upholstered by Poltrona Frau of Italy, is 35 in (88.9 cm) wide (with armrests up and 23 in (58.42 cm) wide when armrests are down) and a 23 in (58.42 cm) LCD TV screen is mounted on the front wall. The 78 in (198.12 cm) bed is separate from the seat and folds out from the back wall, with several other components of the suite lowering to accommodate the mattress. Windows are built into the doors and blinds offer privacy. Suites located in the center can form a double bed after the privacy blinds between them are retracted into special compartments between the beds and in the frame of the partition.

It’s essentially a separate luxury room for you to enjoy when you fly. 

$10 to anyone who knows who Poltrona Frau of Italy is – either way, it sounds pretty swanky, huh?

Gives a whole new definition to the mile high club…This is the way to fly.

5. G’day Mate

Here’s some of my favorite one liners from our trip to Sydney….most came from a group we met out at a bar for drinks after work – they were a group of two men and two women who were in Sydney from Melbourne for the weekend.

“What took you so long in the bathroom ? We’re you having a wank? “

– No explanation needed

“Excuse us, we need to go have a wizzer”

- Explanation that the two women in the group gave when they needed to go to the bathroom.

“I need to go for a twinkle.”

- What one of the guys said in the group when he needed to go to the bathroom.  Now this one baffled me.  Doesn’t it make more sense for the dude to say he has to take a wizzer and the woman to say she has to take a twinkle????  I didn’t argue with them though because if there’s one thing you don’t do is questions a drunk Aussie – man those people like to drink!

However, it was laugh out loud funny to hear a grown man use the word twinkle to describe going to the bathroom. 

We’re from Melbourne, but we’re having a sickie. “

– Come to find out they were taking a ‘sick day’ off from work to come to Sydney for the weekend.  They were essentially playing hookie.  I’ve already emailed my team telling them I’m having a sickie tomorrow.

“Cheer, Cheer, the amber and white…honor the glass by day and b y night…lift that royal can up high…onward to victory”

- Aussie’s like to sing when they drink and are watching sports.  There was a rugby game on the tv, and this is what they kept chanting.  When I joked with our group that this was the “stupidest” song I ever heard, I was called terms like “a tosser” and “a wank.”  Way to make friends Matt…it actually was all in good fun and jest with this group of people we met!

“Real men drink schooners…not middies”

-This is also where I get confused.  The way the people that we met explained it, was that a schooner was a 15 oz. beer and a “Middie” (Spelling?) was a 9oz. beer.  However, if you look it up online, a pint is a 15oz. beer and a schooner is a 9oz. beer. 

Either  way, they made fun of the “middie” but they kept ordering them all night.  Go figure….

“Next time you’re in town we want to have you over for a barbie.” 

- Yes – this was actually used in conversation.  A co worker was inviting us over to a barbecue at their house next time we’re in town.  I couldn’t help myself when I asked her if she would have some shrimp to throw on the Barbie.

6. Bar of the Week

Come to find out (as reminded to me by some of my more loyal readers), I forgot to add a ‘Bar of the Week’ to the last blog.  I’d like to say that it won’t happen again, but I know all too well how bad my memory is.

This week’s ‘Bar of the Week’ comes to you straight from Sydney, Australia – The Fortune Room.  This is the bar where we met the colorful group with all the quotes from above.  Not sure is it’s some swanky marketing, but they claim it’s the oldest pub in Sydney.  By the stale beer smell in it that smelled like it had been there for centuries, I wouldn’t be surprised if it really was the oldest pub in the city..

Not sure what it is, but The Fortune Room also serves ‘hot Aussie beef pies.’  I was afraid about what they were going to give me if I ordered one.

7. Singapore Fact of The Week

I’ve been getting some questions about Singapore as a country…size, population, etc.  To quest all of your never ending thirsts for knowledge, here’s a random fact Singapore fact that I will update each week (or every two weeks with the rate that these blogs are going):

“The English name of Singapore is derived from its Malay name, Singapura (Sanskrit “Lion City"), thus the customary reference to the nation as the Lion City. Lions probably never lived there; the beast seen by Sang Nila Utama, founder of ancient Singapore, who gave the city its name, was most likely a tiger.”

One of the tourist highlights of the city is the Merlion.  It’s actually the original trademark of the Singapore Tourism Board.  The statue suits at the mouth of the Singapore River and is the location in the city if you want to go find obnoxious Chinese and American tourists with cameras.

8.  I finally did it...

I've been freaked out to let anyone cut my hair here.  So needless to say, I've looked like a hippie for the last week.  Before my flight to Vegas, I finally sucked it up and decided that it needed to be done.

If I were to give you a mental image of what my hairdresser (or Hair Sculptor as he referred to himself) Greg looked like, picture this:  a cross between Franck (Martin Short from the movie "Father of the Bride") and Edward Scissorhands...The man was a machine.  Even when he wasn't actually cutting my hair with the scissors, they were still going a mile a minute in his hand.

What service though - You get a cup of tea and a magazine when you sit down in the chair, a cold neck protector so no hair goes down your shirt (very nice touch!), and a 15 minute hair wash where massaged my scalp and my neck.  I was a little hesitant at first to let Greg massage my scalp and neck - but that dude has got some skills - and I'm not embarrassed to say it.  He even took q-tips at the end of the haircut and cleaned my ears.  As Lisa knows, I love my hairdresser Katie back in MA...but Greg is giving her a run for her money!

He must have asked me 10 times if I knew what the hair care brand "Aveda" was.  I finally figured out why in the end when he tried to sell me a bottle of Aveda shampoo - $148 SGD ($120 USD). 

Unbelievable.

9. Bzzzzzzzzzzzz………

I seem to be obsessed with the whole bathroom situation here seeing I bring it up every time I write these things.  Not for many that know me well, know that I really don’t like bathroom humor.  Not sure why, but I never have.  But there’s just too much material over here to not use it.  It’s like a kid in a candy store. 

At the Changi Airport (Singapore Airport) all of the men’s urinals have these small pictures of flies painted on them – sort of a ‘target’ to aim for.  Let me just say what a BRILLIANT idea this is.  I wish EMC would do the same in our offices so I didn’t have to stand in a puddle of pee every day when I needed to use the bathroom.  People over here have the worst aim.  I actually wonder sometimes if people just are going on the floor and not even using the toilets…totally disgusting.  I’ve said it before…but I’ll say it again.  I miss the bathrooms back at work at home.  I would pay some serious money to have those here.

10. Ooboo and Booboo

I don’t know why I find this so funny, but every time I look at this picture I laugh.  This is what I woke up to on the tv last weekend at 3AM after passing out on the couch before bed.  Two monkeys named Ooboo and BooBoo.  Besides form American Idol (which is a day delayed) this is what they have for tv over here.  Good times.

Until next time…hope everyone is doing well!