WEEKS 73-90

MATT'S TOP 10 FROM SINGAPORE

Weeks 73-90: August 26, 2012 – December 29, 2012  [PART 1]

Happy New Year everyone!

I hope everyone is doing well and that everyone enjoyed the holidays.  Lisa was able to get home for a couple of days at Thanksgiving and I’ll be able to get home next week now that quarter end is over.  I’m definitely looking forward to getting back to the States for a few days and hopefully seeing a bunch of you!

Below is my latest blog.  As has become customary with my last three blogs, this one is also in two parts.  With writing these once a quarter, I always end up with more than 10 things to share…maybe I should start calling it a Top 20 list J.

I really do hope everyone is doing well and that 2013 brings great things.  Hope to see many of you next week!

Here's Part 1:

1. My ‘most favorite’ blog topic – the bathroom…

It's been a while since my last blog, so instead of easing back into things, I figured we'd just jump head first and talk about my favorite topic here in Asia...the good old bathroom.

That being said, here’s a news flash for you – I STILL HATE THE BATHROOMS HERE!  I can’t write a blog without a mention/reminder of some of the absolute grossness that we experience on a daily basis here with bathrooms.  Here’s a couple of my ‘favorites’ from over the past few months:

a) The good old ‘hole.’  I especially think this one is interesting because it’s on a podium – two steps up to actually get to the hole.  I’m still proud to say that I’ve never used one of these death traps.

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b) This picture cracks me up.  I think the sign on the left should instead read: “DANGER – THE TOILET MIGHT EAT YOUR KID!”  Kind of reminds me of Pac Man…

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A special call out to the 'squatting pan' sign on the right too...

c) Let’s throw an actual nice bathroom in the mix here.  This is the best bathroom ever – this is at our hotel in The Maldives.  We had one of those overwater bungalows and the floor in front of the toilet was glass so you could see the ocean below and watch the fish swimming by – pretty cool stuff.

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d) Bathroom with a view in Thailand – yes, that is outdoors.

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Speaking of bathrooms….I’d just like to throw this out there to everyone.  It is NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER acceptable to stand over a sink in a public restroom at work (or anywhere for that matter) and blow your nose directly into the sink OR toilet without any tissue, paper towel, toilet paper, etc.  Heck, you can even use your shirt – I really don’t care.  But if I see one more person in the bathroom at work here in Singapore blowing their nose into the sink during the work day, I think I am going to throw up.  I snapped a photo of the latest culprit/‘colleague’ on my phone as he was walking by my office and it’s taking everything in my power to not post it here.  Moving forward when I interview new candidates for a job, I might be forced to ask about personal hygiene practices.  G R O S S

2. Christmas…

Like last year, because of quarter end we unfortunately were not able to come back to the US for Christmas.  This year instead of staying in Singapore, we decided to go away to the Maldives for the weekend – even though we had to travel back on Christmas Day so we could be in work on the 26^th, it was still good to get out of Singapore for a few days. 

The Maldives is a set of islands off of Sri Lanka in the Indian Ocean – by far one of the most beautiful islands I’ve ever been to.  I always thought that Hawaii was my favorite beach/island place – but in my humble opinion this actually trumped Hawaii…

You fly into the capital called Mele (pronounced Mali).  From here, in order to get to our resort, we had to take a 30 minute sea plane ride.  Overall, it was a pretty amazing experience.  If you ever get over to this side of the world, I highly recommend it.  I think it’s been my favorite place that we’ve been over here so far.  Here’s some pictures.  The beaches and the water reminded me of pictures that you see in a travel magazine (Sorry to those who may have already seen these on Facebook):

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3. Speaking of Christmas…

For all of you who have small kids in the US, you know how long the lines could be at malls at Christmas time in order to see Santa.

Santa is known here, but he’s obviously not as popular at Christmas time as he is in the US.  Case in point – the mall next to where we live has had a Santa in a storefront window for the past month.  Each day when I walk through the mall on my way home from work, I stop to watch how the little kids react to him. 

First, I’ve never once seen one on his lap.  Second, they all (and I mean every one of them) peak around the corner of the glass storefront where Santa is and then run as fast as they could past.  And this isn’t just one or two kids – it’s all of them.  At first, I laughed out loud at this…but as I kept seeing it day after day I started to think about it some more – imagine what a big white guy with a big white beard and a red suit looks like to a little Singaporean kid.  I guess if my parents brought me to the mall during Chinese New Year to see someone dressed up as a big China dragon, I would have been scared too.  Heck, I get scared today when I see people dressed up as dragons here around Chinese New Year J.

(Sorrry for the quality of the picture - but I think you'll be able to make out Santa sitting reading the newspaper with no kids around):

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4. Just your average day at the movies…

I know you’re all going to be jealous of this one.  When you go to the movies here in Singapore, they have the normal candy and popcorn like they do in the States.  However, for those that have the craving for a dried fish fillet while watching your favorite flick, they’ve got those too - and those aren't your average gummy/Swedish fish or goldfish crackers - that's a genuine dried fish fillet.

And I thought serving hot dogs that have been sitting there for months at a time in movie theaters was gross.

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5. Gotta love taxi drivers here…

Check out my cab driver from the other day.  Driving and reading the newspaper at the same time.  Made me feel really safe riding in his cab whereas he wasn’t the greatest multi-taker in the world.

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6. Recent Visitors…

We’ve been lucky enough to have a bunch of visitors over the last three months.  Here’s a shout out to a few that have visited:

Lisa’s Parents

Lisa’s parents were here in early October and spent 1.5 weeks in Singapore with us.  We also went to Bali with them for a few days…great times overall (except for the monkeys – see part 2 of this blog coming in a couple of days):

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Jen and Dave

My good friend Jen from college and her boyfriend Dave came to visit over Thanksgiving.  With Lisa being in the US for Thanksgiving, it was nice to have Jen and Dave here – and to top it all off, we actually got to watch the Patriots Thanksgiving Day game against the Jets at a bar that Friday morning…from what I remember, there was also a good night out with them the night before Thanksgiving complete with Irish car bombs in Singapore - great times!

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Alex and Kevin

So this visit is the one I’ve gotten the most questions/enquiries about.  All I would like to say about their trip to Singapore and our long weekend in Phuket was that it was an amazing time.  If you’d like more stories than that, you’ll have to come visit us here so we can go to Phuket together - Phuket makes Vegas look like a place that is suitable for kindergartners…and I don’t exaggerate here.  All in all, great times had with Alex and Kev:

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7. I can’t hear you…

Does the US have these bunny ear cell phone cases yet?  They’re everywhere over here…I can’t figure out what the appeal is:

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8. One thing Asia does extremely well…

Escalator etiquette.  If you’re on for the ride and not in a hurry, stand to the left….if you need to get up a little quicker, walk up on the right side.  Last time I was in the States I went to Macy’s in the mall.  When I got on the escalator I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack – a bunch of lazy slobs crowding up both sides of the escalator with no concern about people who might want to get up the stairs a little quicker.  I almost threw a temper tantrum ( I know – big surprise).  It’s funny how something may seem totally irrelevant and meaningless until you see it done a ‘better’ way.  Now, I know escalator etiquette is not that interesting or not that mind boggling – but it’s the little things that you look for that make it easier to be so far away from home.

9. Say what?

Here’s some more interesting signs from our travels around Asia.  This set was taken in Beijing…

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10. We’re moving…

So work has decided to move us…from being directly downtown to out to the outskirts of Singapore near the airport….good times.  Lisa and I are both looking forward to the hour and 10 minute commute vs. the 5 minute commute we have today – yes!  I have lots more to say on how much of a waste of money I think this move is going to a higher rent building, but I’ll keep that to myself for now and instead focus on what I will miss/not miss about our current office location

What I will miss:

My office – and more specifically the view from my office:

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What I won’t miss:

The bathroom at this office – and more specifically the giant green snot that I have to look at every day while going to the bathroom – that’s right folks – every day for the past year, this is what I stare at in our bathroom at work – you think by now, the crusted thing would have been cleaned off the wall.  I guarantee it’s from someone who was again blowing their nose at the urinal without a tissue.  And because I have to look at it every day, I figured I'd let all of you share in the pain with the below picture...G R O S S

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I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – the bathrooms here are disgusting.  This blog pretty much writes itself…

Part 2 to come in a couple of days…I hope everyone is doing well!

WEEKS 52-72 [PART 2]

MATT'S TOP 10 FROM SINGAPORE

Weeks 52-72: April 1, 2012 – August 25, 2012  [PART 2]

1. Fa lah lah lah lah lah lah lah lah…

I can’t believe I haven’t written about this sooner whereas it’s one of the things that annoys me the most about living here in Singapore:

Singaporeans and Malaysians use the word ‘lah’ at the end of almost every sentence…

For example:

Matt: “Are you coming to work tomorrow?”

Co-worker: “No lah”

I had a hard time understanding this when I first got here.  To understand what the heck it means, let’s go to the Urban Dictionary (because no one else seems to have a decent definition):

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“lah”

Definition: a slang used mainly by people of South-East Asia (Malaysia and Singapore mainly) to complement almost any sentence available in a social conversation.  suffix of no standard meaning used by Malaysians in their very own version of the English language (affectionately named Manglish or Slinglish in Singapore) to spice up sentences and to express very different meanings according to the way it is said.. people who don't use the -lah slang is considered a snob to a certain degree.

A: Hey, can you lend me five dollars?

B: sorry lah, I need money to pay for my cab and lunch-lah

C: can you help me for a minute?

D: ok-lah.

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Good morning lah, yes lah, no lah, sorry lah, feed me lah, ok lah

JUST SHOOT ME lah…

I just don’t get why everybody has to lah.  I guess you can call me a snob…lah…

2. One of the coolest experiences of my life…that my body still hasn’t forgiven me for…

I’m not sure why, but ever since I started this running kick, I wanted to run the Great Wall Marathon (or half marathon for me).  It always looked like one of those life experiences that I had to do – again, not too sure why.

So needless to say, when I found out it was happening this past May, I signed up for it…And I suckered convinced two of my friends to join - Alister from Singapore, and Lee (my good friend from high school who flew all the way from the States to Beijing to run).

The day started with a 3:30AM pick-up in Beijing for the 3 hour ride out to the Great Wall. 

- First big issue – our driver was late. 

- Second big issue – he didn’t speak a word of English. 

- Third big issue – he had no idea how to get to where we were going – even after I gave him written directions in Mandarin

- Fourth big issue – the guy was a certified Grade A lunatic

We we’re speeding down the highway at a speed of at least 70mph when all of a sudden the driver slams on the brakes and the van begins to fish tail.  The only other vehicles on the road at this hour of the morning were large tractor trailers and tanker trucks…and none were around us so there was no way anyone cut us off causing him to slam on the brakes.  What really happened is the idiot actually fell asleep at the wheel!  I’m not talking a quick doze off here – I’m talking full out, head  slumped over, deep sleep.

This was heart attack #1…

After he shocked himself awake, he started driving even more like a maniac – whipping in and out of the larger tractor trailers and even passing cars on the wrong side of the road heading right into oncoming traffic…The fourth time he went to pass a car on a two lane road with other cars coming right at us, I actually reached over from the back seat and hit the guy – not hard – but hard enough to say ‘get your head out of your arse and get us there alive.’

This was heart attack #2…

This was hands down the scariest car ride of my life – without any exaggeration.

Luckily he somehow got us there in one piece. 

The race itself was almost as psychotic as the ride there.  However, unlike the ride, it was an extremely cool experience.  The first 5KM was straight uphill on a switch back road to the entrance to the wall.  The next 3 km was actually running on the wall.  The steps were so steep that there were actually areas where you had to hold onto a rope to prevent yourselves from falling off the wall and down the mountain/cliff.  I’m not afraid of heights, but my stomach flipped a couple of times.  In total it was 5,164 steps on the Great Wall – quite a workout for the old legs!  After the steep descent off the wall, the remainder of the race was through a Chinese village – it was the type of village where I don’t even think they had running water – it was definitely a humbling experience running through the village and seeing how people lived.  It made me feel very lucky for what we have.

Here's some pictures of the actual race on the wall...

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I think the race can best be summed up by Lee’s actions as we were leaving.  As we headed out the entrance to the race, she looked back at the wall and gave it a great big middle finger salute saying she hopes to never see it again after the abuse it just put us through. 

I think my legs are still hurting…

3. Yum…Yum…

Check out Starbuck’s latest drink offering here in Singapore.  Green Tea with Red Beans.  Kind of makes you wish that they offered these in the States, doesn’t it?  Come on, you can admit you’re just a little jealous.

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4. Debbie and Andy (aka Matt’s parents) visit the other side of the world…

They finally made it.  After almost a year and a half over here, my parents got on an airplane and came for a visit.  Here’s a few highlights from their trip:

a) Experiencing the sights of Singapore - Imagine the look on my mom’s face when we came along this on a hike I took them on.  This sucker was at least 5 feet long with its tail.

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b) I think they also got a good kick out of the monkeys here.  This guy gave them a big old Singapore welcome.

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c) We spent a week in Singapore and then we spent a week in Australia.  We were lucky enough to visit  the Great Barrier Reef in the north east part of the country (Cairns and Port Douglas), spend some time in Sydney, and also head south of Sydney and spend some time in the mountains of Berry, Autralia for a couple of days.  All in all, it was a great trip.  Here’s some pictures:

Cairns, Port Douglas, and Great Barrier Reef/Rainforest Helicopter Trip:

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The Great barrier reef from the air...

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Sydney and Berry, Australia:
Lisa with a Koala...

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Lisa and my Dad feeding the kangaroos...

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5. EMC Offices

Getting to travel to different EMC offices is definitely an eye opening experience.  Here’s some of my more interesting observances:

a)In our Paris office, they actually serve beer and wine in the cafeteria.  Need a quick buzz before a big presentation, just head on down to the café and down a beer or two.  It’s probably best that they don’t offer this in the States J

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b) In our India office in Bangalore, they actually have waiters to get you anything you need.  They routinely come into conference rooms asking if you want anything to drink or eat and then they actually serve it to you!  As much as I don’t like visiting India, I have to say that this was a nice little perk.

c) Even better than waiters, in Korea they pick up your shoes at your desk while you’re working and get them shined for you.  Nothing like getting back from lunch to a fresh pair of shoes everyday!  Also in the Korea office, they’re supper huge on oral hygiene.  In the men’s room I think every employee has a toothbrush next to the sink – complete with toothpaste and mouthwash.  I have no idea how they know who’s is who’s.  On second thought, I don’t even want to think about how they just might NOT know…

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6. Sing what?

Speaking of Korea.  I was with a colleague and we were having a drink in our hotel lounge in Seoul.  There was a live band and they were belting out American hits from artists like Michael Jackson, Tina Turner, and even Guns and Roses.  The funny thing is when we went up and requested a song, they couldn’t understand a word we were saying.  They were able to sing the songs in English but didn’t understand a word of it!  Now granted, I could never sing a song in Korean (even if I did just have to repeat the words).  But I thought it was really funny that they hotel hired a band to sing in English when they didn’t understand a word of it.  Classic…

7. Why can’t the US be this sophisticated?

Car parks (garages) in Singapore are brilliant.  Upon entering them they have electronic signs pointing you to where the open spaces are.  When you look down the aisles, each spot has a light above it – green if it’s empty and red if it’s occupied – that way you can easily tell if a spot is open or not.  When a car pulls into an empty spot, the sensor automatically turns the light red.  Imagine how much easier parking would be in the US at the malls during the Christmas holiday.  It’s the small things in life that impress me the most…

8. Good Morning Vietnam…

If you asked me a year ago if I'd ever visit Vietnam my answer would have probably been no.  Personally I’ve never had the interest in going there after all the negative press the region got during and after the Vietnam War.

That being said, we were given an opportunity to go to Hanoi in April – and let me tell you how happy we were that we went.  Hanoi isn’t the most ‘pretty’ city in the world.  In fact, it’s mass chaos with all the motorcycles, tuk-tuks, mass amounts of people, and sweltering hot heat.  However, there’s a presence about the city that captivates you.  The people are incredibly nice, the food is pretty tasty, and there’s lots to see.  Some of the interesting things we saw:

a) If you want your haircut, there’s no need to go to a barber or a hair salon…all you have to do is saddle up to a chair on the side of the road.  I can’t tell you how many of these makeshift barber stands we saw when we were there.

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b) For some reason (and I’m sure there’s one that I just don’t know), all the houses are long and skinny.  In the US, houses are longer width wise.  In Vietnam, they’re longer length wise.  Pretty interesting to see.

c)  The roads are mass chaos.  Mopeds, scooters, motorcycles, and tuk-tuks are everywhere…and none of them are following any road etiquette.  The traffic situation would boggle your minds.  The only worse place I’ve seen in the world is Sao Paulo, Brazil.  And then to top it all off, they have people randomly walking in the middle of the streets carrying tin baskets like Lisa is modeling below:

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d) Our guide had to actually explain to us how to walk across the street.  There are very few cross walks.  In order to get across the street, you just walk out into traffic and cross.  Normally one would stop and look both ways before crossing  - if there’s a car coming you usually wait for it to pass.  Not in Vietnam.  They tell you to stroll slowly out into the road and slowly cross.  The cars and motorcycles are used to this and will go around you.  I of course was hesitant at first…but the method worked!  A little scary at first with thousands of motorcycles streaming at you, but we quickly got the hang of it.

Here's few random pictures:

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It will be interesting to see if people look at Iraq or Afghanistan the same way as Vietnam is looked at 40 years from now.  It’s hard to even fathom the idea of going to either of these two places as tourist destinations.

9. Pink Brunch…

Speaking of interesting food.  We went to this Pink Brunch here in Singapore where everything was pink – pink champagne, pink chocolate fountains, and pink salmon.  Talk about a ‘fresh catch:’

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It was also a good excuse to be able to drink pink drinks and not get made fun of.  I went for the trifecta of pink drinks because I couldn’t just choose one and risk offending the others:

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10.  Thongtastic…

Remember the coffee thong – from my blog on week 3?  (See picture below)

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Each morning when I buy my juice on the way into work, they also put it in a thong.  Let me tell you – I was a non-believer at first sight.  Some may even say I poked fun at the idea.  However, I’ve been converted – I’m now  a huge fan of the beverage thong.  When your hands are full and you’re trying to fumble with your work badge/id to get on the elevators in the morning, the thong proves to be quite handy.  Nothing like being able to dangle your coffee/juice on one finger without the risk of spilling it everywhere.  I’m going to try to start the beverage thong movement when I get back to the States.  It’s going to be my million dollar idea that I’m going to retire on… 

  

If the beverage thongs weren’t enough, they also have pizza thongs here too…

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Until next time, hope everyone is doing well…