MATT'S TOP 10 FROM SINGAPORE
Weeks 52-72: April 1, 2012 – August 25, 2012 [PART 1]
Long time no blog. It seems that I have got myself into a pattern of going long periods before finding the time to sit down to write on our ‘adventures.’ I’ve gone almost 5 months this time. So I figured that with nothing better to do on a Friday at 5:00 that I’d whip up a blog entry. Hopefully you haven’t forgotten about us!
As with all of our lives, a lot happens in 4 months. For this reason, I had to again split this edition into a couple of blogs posts whereas I had more than 10 things to write about…and a ‘Top 10’ list wouldn’t be the same with 20 entries J
So for those interested, here’s Part 1:
1. Lions and tigers and bears...
So there might not be any lions and bears, but there are definitely tigers!
I love animals…always have. So when we were told about this place outside of Bangkok, Thailand where you could go ‘play’ with real tigers, we had to go! They definitely weren’t kidding when they said you could play with the tigers. Everything from holding baby cubs, to bathing, feeding, and walking the ‘big boys,’ to even getting to play with them in their pens…pretty amazing experience!
Taking the tiger for a "walk:"
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Baby Tiger - acted just like a little kitten trying to nibble at the back of your feet:
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Feeding the tiger some raw chicken as a reward for not biting my head off:
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Playing with the tigers in their pens with a garbage bag filled up with air on the end of a stick:
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This one is by far my favorite picture - As I was 'bathing' the tiger, it turned around and growled at me. The trainer (this 18 year old girl - who made me feel really confident) wound up and slapped the tiger on the nose as I was the one still washing it. The look on Lisa's face says it all...
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So if you’ve been keeping score…we’re now bringing home an elephant, a kangaroo, and a tiger. I think we might get some push back from our townhouse association’s ‘ one pet rule.’ (Scott and Neil - could you bring this up at the next board meeting?)
2. Singapore's population, it needs some increasin'…
Ohhhh Singapore…you’ve truly out done yourself this time.
August 9 is Singapore’s National Day – similar to our July 4th in the US. The day is marked by a huge National Day Parade, show, and firework display at night. For a little country, they do put on quite the production.
As they have many times in the past, the Singapore government has been asking the population of Singapore to help increase its natural population. Singapore's current fertility rate is about 1 child born per woman, which is one of the lowest in the world. At the end of June 2011, the island's population was approximately 5.2 million with only 3.3 million being citizens…hence the belief by the Singapore government that they need to increase their natural born. From what I’ve heard, the government has been taking measures to promote fertility in the country, such as running a dating service called the Social Development Network and supposedly offering parents $18,000 for having a fifth child. There are also tax breaks for families with children, government paid maternity leave, and government subsidized singles' events like speed dating and dancing lessons.
So what does National Day and increasing the Singapore population have in common? Funny you should ask…
Leading up to this past National Day, the Singapore government has again come out asking their natural Singaporeans to ‘step up’ their game when it comes to re-producing. In response, Mentos created the following advertisement encouraging people to ‘get their freak on on National Night (their words, not mine).’
I’m telling you – this is absolutely priceless…
Some of my favorite lines:
"Let your patriotism explode. Because it's National Night."
“It’s time do our civic duty. And I’m not talking about speeches, fireworks, or parades. I’m talking about the stuff AFTER that stuff. I’m talking about making a baby”
This little campaign even made CNN back in the States...
Gotta love Singapore…so 'proud' to call this place our home (for now) J
3. Water for Elephants…
I’m an adrenaline junkie. You name it, I’ll do it – jump out of a plane, bungee jump, roller coasters…I’ll always be the first one in line. So you can imagine how excited I was when I heard of this place where you could ride a ‘bucking’ elephant.
Ok – so maybe it wasn’t bucking (or even advertised that way), but it was still a rush. We got to ride an elephant into a river and then try to see how long we could stay on its back when it tried to toss us off – very similar to a rodeo. I tried three times and the longest I could stay on was 4 seconds – much harder than you would think…
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Very cool experience – especially getting to stand on an elephant’s head!
Not cool – having big bricks of elephant sh%* floating by you in the water. Pretty gross – but we did get to clean off right after. Lisa was a real trooper going along on this one with me!
4. Spoiled brat…
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Hey you...that's right the spoiled brat sitting in business class with your seat fully reclined before the plane even takes off playing Angry Birds. It must be nice to be 12 years old and flying on a $6,000 plane ticket to Singapore eating fillet mignon and ice cream sundaes. At least have some decency and not fully recline your seat until us cattle have had a chance to sit down in our toilet class seats at the back of the bus.
I’m not jealous or anything…
5. Speaking of flying…
My job here requires me to travel a bit – so as you can imagine, I spend some time on airplanes. Over the past 18 months, I’ve developed a keen sense of airplane etiquette.
Here’s some of Matt’s ‘best practices’ when it comes to flying. I’d like to call them rules, but ‘best practices’ sound more pc…
1. Please, please, please, please, please, please DO NOT EVER use the pillows on airplanes. If you’re reading this, I consider you a friend and this is for your own good. I don’t care if you get the worst neck ache because you had to lean against the friendly stranger sitting next to you for 10 hours, please do not use the pillows.
So why do I say this. On a recent trip back from the US to Singapore, I had a very sick person sitting next to me. He had come down with some really bad flu symptoms. Now granted, I’ve been sick on an airplane before and it’s not fun…so I really felt for this guy. That is until he took his pillow and blew his nose in it. I kid you not here. The guy used his pillow like a Kleenex. This didn’t just happen once either. It happened throughout the entire flight. His airline pillow became his personal tissue packet.
For those of you out there saying not to worry because they change the covers on airplane pillows, think again. First, they’re only skimpy paper like covers which snot germs would definitely go through. Second, they probably only change them once a month – if we’re lucky. So please do us all a favor and do not use the pillows on airplanes.
2. Under no circumstance is it ok to walk around an airplane barefoot. I might be ok with people putting on the socks that airlines provide on long flights – but ONLY if you don’t walk into the bathroom. People – do you know what an airplane’s bathroom looks like after 15 hours in the air. For those who have not had the absolute pleasure of flying that long in a plane, they are not pleasant…pee on the floor, used paper towels everywhere, and a smell that competes with a sewer. Whenever I see people walking around barefoot and going into these bathrooms, I want to literally throw up. To top this, when they also have their kids toting behind them barefoot, I want to climb out of my skin.
And besides – I don’t want to look at your gross feet for 10 hours J
Ok – I’m off my soap box now…
6. Now I’ve seen it all…
It takes a lot to shock me now-a-days here in good old Asia. The days of me being surprised when I walk into a bathroom and see a naked men clipping his toe nails in the urinal feels like years ago. These types of things kind of come like second nature these days…see how much being 11,000 miles away has numbed my senses. Actually, come to think of it, we did see an odd thing at the airport just recently that was a bit shocking. At a little past midnight, Lisa and I were waiting for my parents to land and there was this random guy sitting in the waiting area with a pair of scissors cutting his face. He sat there for over 20 minutes just snipping away at his skin. The blades must have been dull because he wasn’t bleeding – but he was really going at himself. Obviously the poor guy was not mentally 100% there, but odd nonetheless to see someone cutting his face in an airport waiting area.
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I digress, sorry...the real thing I wanted to write about when I said that I’ve now seen it all is from a recent trip to Bangkok. We were travelling down the road in this pathetic excuse for a car, when this motorcycle goes flying by us…with a dog standing up on the back! The guy must have been going 60+ km/hr (about 40+ mph – ugh, I’m doing this kilometer thing again…damn metrics system). Either way, the dog was balancing itself on the back of the bike as if it was out for just another joy ride. You don’t see this everyday in the States!
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7. Bangkok - enough said...
So here’s how I would sum up our trip to Bangkok, Thailand:
Been there once – probably won’t go back.
The Tiger Temple I described above was very cool…riding and swimming with elephants was also very cool. They also definitely have some interesting nightlife. Outside of this, I personally have no interest in retuning. That being said, lots of people love Bangkok for a number of different reasons – and I totally respect that – it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea.
A couple observations from our trip:
a) One thing Thailand does very well is stop lights. When you pull up to a red light, they actually have a countdown to when it will turn green. Right above the light they have an electronic screen displaying this countdown to when you can go. Very nice for when you’re busy looking at your iPhone or Blackberry :)
b) Instead of shaking hands, you're supposed to Thais "wai" to greet people. The "wai" is a short bow done with your hands held fingertips-together close to your chest or face. Even Ronald McDonald (below) greets you that way...
And BTW - They love American music…I can’t tell you how loud our taxi driver had ‘Hotel California’ blaring in the car…
8. Did somebody pass away?
I walked by this store the other day and thought somebody had passed away with the large funeral type flowers standing outside the store. Come to find out it was a grand opening celebration and people supposedly send these large flower arrangements to wish the new owners good luck. Odd - but a nice touch.
9. Is it me or is there something missing here?
In honor of the recent Olympics, I thought I’d throw this little gem at you.
For those that think basketball is difficult, you should try NetBall. Supposedly the sport originated in the US, but I had to come to Singapore to actually see the game played. It’s essentially basketball without a backboard. I’d like to see Kobe try this out…
Watching American sports is definitely one of the things I miss here the most - although I can’t say that I’m upset about not being able to see my Red Sox continue their epic collapse from last season…there’s always football season to look forward to – Go Pats!
10. And you thought I forgot…
My blog would not be complete without at least one bathroom reference…
This is more a question than a reference. Why does every bathroom in Singapore have a step at the door? Lisa asked me this question recently. It’s not just public bathrooms. Even the bathrooms we have in our house have steps.
After much thought I finally realised that the answer was pretty simple. Because no one here knows how to properly use a toilet and insists on peeing on the floor, the steps must be there to keep all the pee on the floor from escaping. I can’t come up with any other explanation…
I LOVE the bathrooms in Asia!
Until next time, hope everyone is doing well…
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