MATT'S TOP 10 FROM SINGAPORE
Weeks 91-109: December 30, 2012 – May 11, 2013 [PART 2]
1. Fun with the locals in Japan
Meet my new best friend from Japan. We were out with some colleagues at this place in Tokyo where they have a large number of small bars in one area. Each bar has a different theme and has room inside only for 5-10 people.
This young chap was out of his mind drunk when we walked inside the bar he was at. This was the first bar we were visiting and we had nothing to drink at the time. He didn’t speak much English so he kept trying to communicate with us by literally grunting (there were also a few growls in there). I couldn’t help myself and definitely needed a picture with him. Put this one in the old scrapbook.
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2. Sorry, I can’t shake your hand with that ‘thing’ protruding from it…
I forgot all about this one until I saw it again the other day. The guy who delivered the tv to our house when we first moved here had one long pinkie fingernail on his right hand. It was about 2 inches in length and was curling at the end. I asked around and come to find out back in the old days in China, long fingernails were a sign you were rich and didn't do manual labor. Sometimes people now grow out the pinkie as a sign of culture, breeding and wealth. This past weekend our taxi driver was sporting this super hot status symbol. Kind of interesting (and a little gross) all at the same time...(This is not the exact picture of the guy I saw - I was not able to snap a picture without being obvious - so I found this one online to illustrate)
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3. Kiasu…
I’ve been meaning to talk about this in my blog for a while whereas it’s one of those things that bothers me in Singapore. Now let’s not kid ourselves – I let lots of things bother me/push my buttons, but this one is really annoying. To get a definition of ‘kiasu’ I pulled the following from Wikipedia:
“Kiasu is a Chinese word that literally means 'fear of losing.' In Singapore it also manifests itself in queue jumping or barging (for example going into lifts, on and off MRT trains, joining escalators or passing through doors). Certainly no thanks is given for holding open a door or waiting for another to pass. Generally this is achieved by the person barging not looking at the other person or people, and as such when the eye is caught by the person being barged results in either "sorry, lah" with a guilty look or alternatively a torrent of abuse, in particular if the person being barged is outwardly western in appearance; an "ang moh" (roughly translated as "red hair" or "red skin").
It also manifests itself on the roads, particularly where merges occur. The zipper approach to merging is difficult to achieve in a kiasu environment where not being last (if not outright winning) is of primary importance. Again this is achieved by apparently "not seeing" other cars.
The root of this approach was (for a period) actively encouraged by the Singaporean Government, largely out of necessity, through the early 1970s. The Government declared that they would make a success of Singapore through hard work and commerce, and that if you wanted to get ahead, it was up to you. A positive aspect is that the state is not looked upon as a universal provider, and that drive and energy took Singapore through a social and environmental transformation, and turned it into the massive centre for commerce that it is today.
However the Singaporean Government has made attempts to temper Kiasu-ism slightly. Now signs are used at many lifts and MRT doorways to remind people to let those coming off the train to come through before blindly stepping on or in. Beyond that even "Politeness Campaigns" on a public information basis have been employed to attempt to bring a new manner set into use.”
I love the fact that they have to run “politeness campaigns” and put up signs reminding people of common manners. Again, you can just imagine how well I fit in with this general ‘way of living.’ :) That being said, I am determined before I leave here to teach the Singapore population how to hold a door for another person…one person at a time. I figure that since I’ve already been here almost two years I’ve probably tried to teach well over 200 people how to hold a door for each other – my guess is that out of the 200, not even one has understood what I’ve been trying to teach them…I’m not giving up though!
4. More ‘interesting’ signs from good old Asia:
That’s really goodly English. Check out this bumper sticker from a car in Singapore. You would never guess English is the primary language here:
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This sign was at the airport in Tokyo. Be carful because the black ghost blob might steal your bag.
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Hello Kitty is HUGE here. Personally, I don't get the appeal - but they make millions off of it...and supposedly you can 'get lucky' with Hello Kitty:
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I can't remember if this was in Tokyo or Hong Kong - but I love the panda bear telling you to aim properly at the urinal in the bathroom:
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Believe it or not, this is actually a reasonable price for Greay Goose vodka:
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This was at a rest stop in India:
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5. Latest Airplane Observances
A few more things on airplanes that rub me the wrong way. Let me caveat this by saying that not all my flights have ‘incidents’ that happen. In fact, most are average/normal flights with average/normal people. However, it just seems that lately there has been an influx in incidents that provide good blog fodder:
a) The worst part about flying – deplaning/getting off the plane (i.e. that awful time on a flight when the little seatbelt sign rings signaling it’s ok to get up out of your seats and get off the plane). I swear, that little bell signal brings out the absolute stupid in people. Hey everyone – why don’t we all just jump up at the same time, push and shove each other while trying to get bags out of the overhead compartments and then try to push to an unopened door. Absolute idiots. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been sitting in an aisle seat and have had people literally trying to climb over the top to me to get into a crowded aisle where there’s no room for them to go. “Hey moron – don’t you think I would have gotten into the aisle myself if there was room?”
Now take all this and add on top of it Singaporeans and the ‘kiasu’ I mentioned above – and then add good old Matt in the middle of it – it’s like oil and water people…
b) I just love when you’re sitting in the middle of an airplane and food service time comes around (for those friends back in the US asking what food on an airplane is, they actually still serve free meals on planes here in Asia – no ‘snacks in a box’ that they charge $12 for like back home – and they actually give you menus in economy to choose your food from – at least on Singapore Air they do – and I will say that most flights over here are over 5 hours – so you do get hungry). Sorry – I digress….
The thing that bothers me is when you’re sitting in the middle of the plane and they have four food carts. The food cart comes around and it starts in the row directly behind you. …meaning you have to wait until the one that has started 20 rows in front of you to get to you – at which time they never have your meal choice available. I write about this because on my last 3 Singapore Airlines flights I’ve been that guy eating some leftover vegetarian dish which is ice cold because they had nothing else left.
My advice to all those that fly – sit near the front of the plane – easy in / easy out, and you get served food (and more importantly drinks) first.
c) Remember what I mentioned last time about not using airline pillows and how a guy next to me was using it to blow his nose in on my last flight home? I have another item to add to that list. On a recent flight back from Delhi, India, the guy next to me was sick and had a runny nose. He didn’t have any tissue (or a pillow) to wipe his nose with and I think he got tired of wiping his nose on his hand and shirt. At one point, he picked up the headphones from the airline and used the foam air pieces to wipe his nose. I thought I was going to vomit right there and then. This BTW was the same guy who had taken off his shoes and socks when he sat down and proceeded to put his feet under my seat (IN my personal space) throughout the flight. Matt + feet ≠ Happy Matt
So take this as another lesson – If the headphones they give you don’t come in a plastic bag – DON’T USE THEM. PLEASE! Better yet, just bring your own headphones.
I think that flying not only brings out the absolute stupidity in people, but it also brings out the absolute unsanitary/grossness in people.
It isn’t always all bad. One out of 100 flights we do actually get an upgrade. Lisa and I recently got upgraded from a flight from Tokyo to Singapore. We had wine, pretzel bread, and the movie ‘Old School’ on the tv. It doesn’t get much better than that in an airplane!
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6. China Domestic Airline Carriers – a whole other ‘flying experience’
Now – even worse than above –flying on domestic China flights. Recently I had the ABSOLUTE pleasure to fly inter-China - Shanghai to Wuhan to Chengdu - on some domestic China airlines – China Air, China Easter Airlines, and Xiamen Air (that’s right – Google that last airline – thank you EMC for finding me the cheapest available travel option). Three observations from this trip
1. On one flight, instead of making a ‘buckle your seat belt’ announcement, they instead walked up and down the aisles with a cardboard sign telling you to buckle up. I kid you not. I wish I had a camera readily available to capture this one. I think I was too dumbfounded to even pull my iPhone out quick enough to capture a picture.
2. Not that these signs even matter because people on domestic China flights don’t even pay attention. On my Chengdu flight back to Hong Kong, I again had an aisle seat. Before the wheels of the plane even touched down (I’m talking during final descent), people were standing up, opening the overhead compartments, and getting their luggage down. The lady at the window seat in my aisle actually stood up and was literally climbing over me as the wheels touched down – causing her to be jolted into my lap. Good times…
3. On my Shanghai to Wuhan flight I was lucky enough to sit in the emergency exit aisle. When I sat down in the seat, the flight attendant came over to me and made it clear that I was not to touch the red emergency release handle on the emergency door next to my seat. Hmmm…let me think about that one for a second – do you meant that I’m not supposed to try to open the door when we’re 35,000 feet in the air. It really makes me think how many people have actually tried this in the past onboard some of these airlines.
BTW – one guess on whether I accepted the mystery meat in a box that came in the onboard meal service :)
7. Should I be scared or comforted?
I’ve seen these masks/smoke hoods in closets before at hotels…but I’ve never seen one sitting on the pillow of your bed when you walk into your hotel room. This is what was waiting for me when I arrived at my hotel in Wuhan, China on a recent trip. Luckily I did not have to use it during my stay – however I did consider whipping it out of the box and wearing it so I didn’t have to breathe in the smell of raw sewage that was hanging in the air outside of our hotel.
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8. WAKE UP!...
It's odd - people sleep in the most random places at the most random times here in Singapore. It seems like every day, I see a handful of people passed out like it’s their job. These are just random folks who decide that they’ve had enough and decide to stop doing whatever they’re doing for a siesta. The other day at work, the girl outside my office was asleep at her desk. 2:00 in the afternoon and she was out cold. Lisa caught a guy sitting next to her out cold the other day too. At least you’d think they’d have the decency to climb under their desks for their nap (following in the footsteps of the great George Costanza).
Outside of work I recently saw a women curled up on the bench at the mall. She had a bunch of shopping bags in her hand and her kid sitting next to her. I honestly was a bit worried that she wasn’t ok with her kid sitting next to her. When I tapped her on the shoulder to ask if she was ok, she gave me a death stare as if she was going to bite my head off. “So sorry to have woke you up as your four year old kid is just randomly sitting there.”
Starbucks too - here’s a picture I snapped of a guy in the coffee shop – again, passed out cold.
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Here’s Singapore’s latest brain child on how to spend $1.1B – Gardens by The Bay. I swear, this country has WAY too much money.
They built these gardens on reclaimed land – i.e. land they took back from the ocean by backfilling it with a bunch load of dirt. Obviously this is not cheap to do – so you can imagine how valuable this land is.
Now granted, these gardens are pretty amazing and I recommend that if you ever get a chance, you see them – but come on - $1.1B. I can think of a lot better things to do with $1.1B to help the betterment of this world…
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10. Check two new things off the old food list…
On a recent trip to China we were at dinner and they served two items that I had never tried before – in fact, I would have probably never tried these things if we were not out with a customer – ox tongue and chicken feet. Here’s a picture of the chicken feet. Now all of those out there who want me to send them some of these goodies back home, please raise their hand:
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