MATT'S TOP 10 FROM SINGAPORE
Weeks 91-109: December 30, 2012 – May 11, 2013 [PART 1]
I honestly cannot believe it’s been a little over two years now since we’ve been here in good old Singapore. Time definitely flies! We’ve been so lucky and fortunate to have been able to meet some unbelievable friends and to have experienced some unbelievable experiences/places – but we definitely miss all of you.
Seeing Lisa has been in Beijing for the last three weeks for work (poor girl), I decided to wisely use my time and put together a blog entry – it’s been a while, so (as usual) I had more than 10 things to write about…so this one will again be in two installments.
I hope everyone is doing well and look forward to catching up with you the next time I’m in the States in July!
For those interested, here’s the first installment from the last few months. I’ll send the link for Part 2 next week:
1. Whose commute now sucks – This guy’s!
I think there might have been a bit of confusion from my last blog. When I mentioned that we were moving in Singapore, I meant that in reference to our EMC Offices – not where Lisa and I live. I got a few emails asking why we were moving – so I apologize if that was not clear.
First the bad news – the new office is much further from where we live. Our 5 minute bus ride commute has now become an hour train ride. Riding the train for an hour to and from work opens your eyes up to a whole other level of experiences – and a whole other level of stupidity emulating from people.
We also seem to have a lack of deodorant issue with another company that is on a floor below us – it seems that they don’t believe in using the stuff. It makes for some VERY unpleasant elevator rides.
We also seem to have a lack of deodorant issue with another company that is on a floor below us – it seems that they don’t believe in using the stuff. It makes for some VERY unpleasant elevator rides.
Now for the good news – the new office is MUCH nicer than our old office (outside of the views that we used to have from our old office). The BEST part of the new office is the new bathrooms – which they actually make a conscious effort to now keep clean. That’s right - let me say that again – they actually make a conscious effort to clean these bathrooms unlike the ones in the old office.
Not to worry though – we still have a hole in the new bathrooms (and oddly enough the hole gets far more use than the ‘normal’ bathroom stalls – I still don’t get it).
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And – check out the lady bugs to ‘aim’ at in the urinals:
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For those that might remember, I included the below photo in a blog post when we first got here of the ‘fly’ to aim at in the urinal at the Singapore Airport.
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Now we have lady bugs at work….ABSOLUTELY brilliant for those here (and it feels like a majority) that do not know how to properly hit the toilet and end up peeing on the floor. Absolutely disgusting - I kid you not.
2. Too much information…
Now granted, it’s never funny when people are sick – but what is funny is the amount of information that people here in Singapore decide to share (in writing) when they are sick. These are great examples of cultural differences.
In the past two years, here’s a few of my favorite emails (verbatim) that Lisa and I have seen about why they cannot make it to work in Singapore. To be very clear, these are NOT from where we work – they are from other friends who work at companies across Singapore that have forwarded them to us. And let me also reiterate (if you didn’t already understand from the word ‘verbatim’ that I underlined and bolded above :)), that I did not alter these emails in any way.
1. “Last week I ate the unclean and I shouldn't, so I suffered the acute gastritis. I've seen a doctor and taken pills, but I still feel severe sick. I'm sorry that I have to ask for a sick leave and take one day rest. Thanks.”
2. “I have a stomach ache this morning and took a medicine. But it take time to work.(0.5-1hour). So I am sorry that I will be late and be office around 10:00am”
3. “I am sorry that I have to got to the police office urgently this morning. I will be late and be at office after 9:00AM”
4. “Thank you for allowing me to leave earlier. I am having 37.1 fever and do think I will be able to go to the office tomorrow. Due to symptom, I think I am having the flue, but not a cold.”
5. “I had diarrhea today, will working from home.”
6. “I am not feeling well. I am having quite bad diarrhea and fever since this morning and its getting worst now. I have informed xxxx about it and will be going to see a doctor now. “
7. “I will work from home for the rest of the day. My diarrhea has gotten worse and I cannot sit here longer.”
And my favorite….
8. “I am having the headache and stomach pain. I am going to the doctor to get a pregnant test.”
Can you tell that diarrhea is a running theme here…got to love Singapore food!
3. Monkey’s are the devil…
I totally forgot to bring this up in my last blog.
I believe I said in the past that I actually liked monkeys – and I may have even mentioned that I wanted to bring one home with me. SCRATCH THAT IDEA. I now cannot stand monkeys and we are definitely not bringing one home.
So, why the change of heart – two reasons:
REASON #1: When we were in Bali with Lisa’s parents when they were visiting us, we went back to the Monkey Temple that Lisa and I had visited earlier in the year. This time around, I decided to wear my sunglasses in because we had no issues the last time we were there. All the guides warned us not to wear glasses, jewelry, etc, because these viscous thieves they call monkeys would take them from you. We saw it happen to others last time we were there, but I thought I was too smart to allow it to happen to me – I could not have been any more wrong.
During this visit there were not as many monkeys around as the time before – so I thought I was safe when I bent down to take a picture of this one monkey who was sitting out in the open all by himself. Come to find out, he was just a decoy for his ba$%ard friend who came out of nowhere, jumped on my back, and stole my sunglasses.
They do this because in order to get people’s belongings back, the guides throw them candy bars or pieces of fruit. The hope is that when they have food thrown to them, they’ll drop whatever they stole and concentrate more on the food. They’re actually pretty smart – steal somebody’s property and get a treat for dropping it.
The guy that stole mine was twice as smart. When both Lisa and I started to chase him to get my glasses back, he actually turned around, showed his teeth and lunged back at us. This caught the guide's attention and he came running over with a candy bar in his hand. When he threw it at the monkey, instead of dropping my sunglasses and picking up the candy, he picked up the candy bar and stuffed it under his armpit – again, smart little sucker. As he did this, he started chewing on my sunglasses. The guide then threw him another candy bar which caused him to drop the sunglasses in order to pick it up. With that the guide chased him into the woods with a slingshot.
Good times in good old Bali…needless to say I’ll never be going back to the Monkey Temple again…
Here’s the picture of the one who took my attention while his friend jumped on my back and ripped the sunglasses off the top of my head:
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REASON #2: They are all over the golf course in Indonesia that we play at on the weekends. Often when you get out of your golf cart, the little snots jump in and take your things. They especially like taking your food. They even will open up the zippers on the caddie’s bags and take the food right out. Smart little suckers. Not as smart as good old Matt though running through the woods at them with my golf club after taking our food. Put that image in the old mental image bank.
You take my stuff you get chased around by a deranged idiot with a golf club. There’s something about monkeys that bring out an absolute rage in me.
4. Who wants a Panda Bear?!?!?!
While we’re no longer bringing home a monkey, we are going to be bringing home a panda! On a recent trip to Chengdu, China I had some spare time before catching my flight back to Singapore. Some work colleagues were nice enough to bring me to a Panda Research Park where I was actually able to hold a baby panda - for a small fortune that they called a donation. The little guy below is named Leo (That’s his English name - I can’t pronounce or remember how to type his Chinese name) and he’s one year old.
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As an aside, I’d also like to point out what great hosts EMC employees in Asia are. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been in countries here where people take time out of their nights and even their weekends to spend time with Lisa and me to show us around. It’s great to see how hospitable EMC employees are.
5. New Zealand
In February we were lucky enough to have our friends Todd and Jen visit us from the US. As part of their visit, we spent a week in New Zealand. New Zealand is one of those places that I highly recommend that you visit if you ever get the chance. The scenery, adventure activities, people, and WINE are all worth visiting for. Here’s some photos from the trip.
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6. One…two…three...bungee!
I’ve always wanted to go bungee jumping…not too sure why. Maybe it’s my sense of adventure, or maybe I’m just an idiot for wanting to do things that are dangerous (probably the latter) – but if you are going to go bungee jumping, then New Zealand is a great place to do it seeing that’s where it originated.
As part of our New Zealand trip Todd and I decided to be two of those idiots and take the plunge – and all I can say is - WHAT A RUSH!
Here’s some pics:
Here’s some pics:
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7. Marketing 101
Dear Singapore Starbucks – if you want to sell more of your product, you might want to consider naming it something different:
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8. Oh India…
I read recently that visiting India is like having an assault on all of your senses –all at the same time. How true these words are…
Lisa was I were both in New Delhi, India together for work in February. We decided to stay the weekend and make the trip out to Agra to see the Taj Mahal. Neither of us have seen it before and it’s been on our bucket list.
So – where do I begin to describe our most recent trip? Let’s start with the good:
THE GOOD
a) The Taj Mahal:
Absolutely breath taking. You see pictures of it and hear stories, but this is one that lived up to all the hype. The place really is beautiful. Here’s some pictures from our time there:
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b) The Food
I’ve actually come to really like the taste of India food (if it’s cooked properly). Check out the size of this naan (traditional Indian flatbread). I literally could have lay down and used it as a blanket.
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THE BAD
a) The Food…yes this is not a typo after also calling the food good.
Whereas I like the taste of Indian food, my body does not like the way it feels after eating it. I absolutely love spicy food, but India spicy is a whole other level of spiciness.
I also really question the way some of the restaurants prepare their food. Check out the restaurant next door to the office in New Delhi. Their kitchen is actually outside on the roof of the building. Something tells me that this has not passed any sort of cleanliness tests…and I wonder why my stomach feels the way it does after eating Indian food – but it tastes so good :)
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b) The general driving conditions
Three quick examples:
- Leaving work we had a hotel car pick us up to bring us back to the hotel – it was a really nice BMW 7 series – unfortunately, it stood out like a sore thumb in the streets that looked like this (notice the random animals just roaming about):
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As we were leaving the work parking lot, our driver scraped a car on the side of the road with our side view mirror – picture the most packed street you have ever seen in your life with cars, people, bikes, chickens, cows, everywhere. It was mass chaos. When I said to him that he just hit a car his response was: “Don’t worry sir, it happens all the time.”
At least we weren't in a car /cab that was being pulled by a camel like we saw on the side of the road:
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- They have these moped like cabs to transport people - I think I might have mentioned these in a past blog about one of my first trips to India:
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As we were sitting at a light, we watched one come plowing into the car in front of it. It looked like either the guy lost his brakes or just wasn’t paying attention. The scary part was the girl that was in the back got thrown out of the ‘cab’ and was lying on the ground – with what looked to be a broken leg. The thing that bothered me the most is that no one was rushing to help her and our driver also just drove off without letting us help.
- Don't you feel really safe with an electric cord for the hand dryer just sitting next to the sink?!?!
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- This place smelled AWFUL. Even the air freshener above the stuck to the urinal wasn't helping.
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- Lots of options to look out the window while going to the bathroom
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e) Under the conference table at work was this. I shudder to think about what types of rodents they were trying to capture. Good times...
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9. Car Prices
I know I’ve mentioned the high prices of cars in Singapore in the past. Believe it or not, they just issued another law to inhibit the purchase of cars. Before someone can purchase a car here, they need to have at least 50% of the price of the car as a down payment. When cars cost well over $100K, you have to take out a second mortgage on your house to be able to afford to drive. Check out the price of a Volkswagen Jetta here…That’s right – that’s $165,800:
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10. Seriously Singapore…
I called to order pizza the other night and asked to have it delivered. The response I got back was: “I’m sorry sir we can’t deliver to you right now because it’s raining out.” I give up…
I’ll send out Part 2 after the weekend with 'exciting' updates on my travel to some 'Tier 2' cities in China and some more airline fodder. I hope everyone is doing well!
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